@MaryMaryBoBerry I second this question, and also what about when you get your hair cut? Do you just get it cut dry, or do you ask for a rinse but no shampoo, and if so does it weird out your hair stylist or whatever?
@Umlauts I think part of AQC's point is that just because you are in a relationship with a person of the opposite gender, that doesn't necessarily mean you are automatically in a "hetero" relationship. If you still identify as queer, even within that relationship, you are still a queer person and that makes it -- or can make it, if you want to identify it that way* -- a queer relationship, deserving of as much respect and inclusion as any other. That B and that Q are there for a reason!
*Not trying to tell you you are wrong for feeling the way you do, or to label your relationship for you. Just tryin to offer an interpretation of this post that I, personally, find helpful in the hopes that you may, as well.
As a still somewhat freshly-minted queer who watched Coming Out Day come and go with a lot of Complicated Feelings and some really quiet, unassuming Facebook "likes", this post was super soothing for my soul. Every single part of it are things I struggle with on the daily, and it feels really good both to see that other people share those struggles, and that there are people (like AQC) who can be understanding and encouraging, whether or not those experiences directly mirror/ed her own.
Anyway, like a lot of folks are saying, thanks AQC. And double thanks, brave queers who put their problems out into the internet for us to examine and empathize with.
Baba, you are magic.
On Inside the San Marcos Aquarena, an "underwater world of mermaids, clowns, and a swimming pig named Ralph"
As a Weeki Wachee-loving ex-Floridian currently residing in Central Austin, this new information STUNS and DELIGHTS me!
Oh, wow. This is really making my day. <3
I've missed theory so much since school. I stumbled in to a post-colonial theory class my first year of college completely by accident, and dropped another class to take it instead; later I took some queer theory, and both classes completely changed my life. This book sounds like a really compelling, not quite-so-daunting way to rediscover that feeling of realizing as you read something the power of that thing to genuinely change the way you look at the world.
I seriously can't believe how each installment of these is more beautiful (honestly! beautiful!) every time. Totally in awe.
@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas To further elaborate, just because it seems like it hasn't explicitly been said, this wrong-audience/wrong-context issue is also something for the editor to consider. (Hi Emma! I like what we've seen of you so far and I don't want to make your first day hard or bad! Just shaaaaaring.)
I am also genuinely curious about where this was to fit on the Hairpin? It seems like half-apology, half please-understand-where-I'm coming-from; the latter half is condescending. We all pretty much get where you're coming from, it isn't news. On an individual level, it's genuinely nice, but not revelational, that one person has an increased awareness of themselves and this problem they've been a part of. On a widespread-problem level, it's just not very... interesting, or useful, to anyone but the poster. (Maybe that's the intent? To allow the writer a chance to sound out some complex feelings? That's fine, but this is still a weird place for it?) People who have been treated like shit by another large group of people are often better equipped to understand the underlying causes than the perpetrators of the shit-treating, due to the self-delusion brought up by the poster.
If you want to start being a role model for other men in your community, offer your explanations to those men in that community. If you want forgiveness and acceptance, start by being a role model for other men in your community and be open to lots of criticism. You're simply not gonna get it by -- and truly, I mean no offense to the poster -- saying stuff we've heard a million times before and are kinda tired of hearing.