@TheBelleWitch Sugar's column really spoke to me at a particular time in my life...it was the one where she was like "wanting to leave is enough" and I was like "preeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaachhhh!!!!!!!!!!!" while sloshing my wine glass in a sloppy cheers and crying. Anyway I tried to read Wild and was not at all a fan.
@iceberg I know! Every quote in that article is inane and not even worth getting upset about but I can't stop myself. Like they talk about "coming out" with their traditional marriage views, stepping out of the shadows...hey guess what guys, important newsflash: you actually aren't a marginalized group at all. Unfortunately. So "coming out" is not really YOUR issue, I wouldn't say. Also please shut up forever.
And yeah, the point about re-framing the debate so that it isn't about "a vote for gay people to be happy." I mean...it just is about that. Happiness, equal rights, love, goodness, humanity, that kinda thing. But sure, I guess you totally should try to "reframe" it in a way where it doesn't seem like you are a horrible bigot who wants to stop other people from pursuing things that would make them happy? Good luck?
@iceberg SERIOUSLY WHAT. What is the distinction she is drawing between "that" discussion and the "healthy" discussion? Not to mention, it isn't really a "discussion" at all when you are actually just telling your "friends" that they can't get married. That's more just like...you being a dick and those people definitely not being your friends.
@mangosara Thank you! I was feeling worried about googling "magic berries blow job berry magical" at work. Disappointing news though.
@Porn Peddler Wait has anyone ever tried eating magic berries beforehand? WHAT IF THIS IS A GREAT IDEA!?
@Nicole Cliffe Yes, and Lisa needed to steal it for recreational use.
Also, remember Stevie's recurring "joke" about ordering disgusting ice cream? She always ate it all, though. THAT STEVIE. What a prankster.
@packedsuitcase It doesn't sound at all like you're a horrible friend. It's really hard to see a friend you love in pain. You can't always fix it, though. I think usually you can't. She sounds like she is very defensive about this problem, and there might not be a way to have a productive conversation about it. Maybe it is something you just have to accept about her, or maybe you need to get some space from the friendship.
@packedsuitcase Alcohol could help. Being kind and compassionate is also vital. I don't think you will have a lot of luck conveying this message if you say "You put too much emphasis on.../you constantly look to men.../it's super transparent.../other people are scared." Even if all that is true, it will likely really hurt your friend, who sounds like she is already acting from a place of being wounded or insecure in some way. You could try opening the conversation by talking about ways that interacting with men is hard for you, and see if that creates a way for her to talk about the issues you are observing with her--maybe it is something she's aware of but doesn't know how to handle. If you are anticipating that your friend is going to be criticizing you as some kind of retaliation for what you're saying to her, you probably need to rethink how you are planning to approach her.
@WhiskeySour Wow--I just read the long term relationship comic on your tumblr and laughed so hard but silently (I'm at work) that I cried. I CRIED! I don't really understand tumblr but if I did I would follow you.
Ah! This is bizarre, but when I was little I had an extreme phobia about being kidnapped and thought that men would come in through the window and take me while I was sleeping. So I had an intense burning desire for a bed that would be kind of like a fortress with a million locks that would protect me from kidnappers. I used to draw blueprints for it all the time. It was shaped like a cat...I WAS A STRANGE CHILD.