My love is a hundred pitchers of honey. Shiploads of thuya are what my body wants to say to your body. Giraffes are this desire in the dark.

On A Plan for Dealing With This

@adorable-eggplant I just moved here. You can be happy here. You can be sour and sad here. It's a lot like other places, just sunnier than most. But if you're the type of person who romanticizes a certain kind of grass-is-greener bullshit, it's not for you.

Posted on December 6, 2013 at 3:10 pm 1

On Interview with a Big Dick

@Blushingflwr You presume too much


Posted on November 22, 2013 at 3:24 pm 6

On Friday Open Thread

I had to admit something sort of shameful (a period of extremely irresponsible finances) to my parents that I had been hiding from them for about 3 years, and now they're really upset that I hid it from them, and I feel like shit for hiding it, and I feel like I've broken something.

And my girlfriend and I are supposed to be staying with them in a week, and I have no idea if things are going to get better before then. Bah. I'm feeling pretty damn down, even though I have a million other things to be happy about. I can't do anything but focus on the negative right now.

Posted on October 18, 2013 at 3:57 pm 0

On Friday Open Thread

Going to Atlantic City for the weekend! Woooooo! Going to win $5000, probably, maybe!

Posted on October 11, 2013 at 4:08 pm 4

On The Just Admit You're Pregnant Pie

@Rock and Roll Ken Doll I agree, "tapas style" is how I prefer babies, too.

[watches intently to see if you laugh]

Posted on October 10, 2013 at 2:48 pm 18

On The Just Admit You're Pregnant Pie

@Rock and Roll Ken Doll Mazel tov!

Posted on October 10, 2013 at 2:19 pm 2

On Hairpin Travel Serial, Part Five: Real City

OK OK FINE. This is finally the one that makes me just break down and buy this damn thing. Take my money. Have it.

Posted on October 9, 2013 at 9:54 am 1

On What Is the Worst Possible Job for You?

Please don't be the job I just accepted, please don't be the job I just accepted, please don't be the job I just accepted...

Posted on October 7, 2013 at 1:42 pm 11

On Rich People Not Feeling It ("It" Being Empathy)

I got a 23, but the ones I missed I felt like were near-misses, like choosing "Nervous" instead of "Preoccupied." Although "reflective" through me for a loop. I still don't think she looks reflective.

Posted on October 7, 2013 at 11:13 am 3

On You've Been Tying Your Shoes All Wrong: An Interview With "Professor Shoelace"

In that vein, I'd also like to direct people to ThisToThat.com, the internet repository of knowledge on what kind of glue/adhesive to use to stick one thing to another thing. That's all it does, and it's magnificent.

Posted on October 1, 2013 at 5:12 pm 2