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On The Comment Section for Every Article Ever Written About Artificial Sweeteners

@Pop Pop ... what are you supposed to do?

Posted on June 13, 2012 at 11:43 am 1

On Apropos of Nada

@carolita
Nooo mooooore Chriiistmas shopping, I am allll setttttt. (It's a song, guys. Sing with me.)

Posted on May 19, 2012 at 9:09 am 0

On Apropos of Nada

@leon.saintjean The same.

I love this story to death. To. DEATH.

“Thank you!” I’d yell, and she’d reply, “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

It's too much.

Posted on May 19, 2012 at 9:08 am 1

On Ask a Clean Person: Let's All Make ... Our Beds. And Then Take a Nap.

@AniaGosia I recommend Ikea too. I bought a duvet cover and pillow cases. At first I found them super scratchy and uncomfortable, but after washing them several times in extra hot water with fabric softener they are soft and lovely, and the pattern is really nice as well.

Posted on March 29, 2012 at 12:48 pm 0

On Birthdays at the Office

@nogreeneggs MONEY CAKE! My friend's mom did that every year. THE BEST.

Posted on March 6, 2012 at 3:59 pm 0

On The Contraception "Debate"

@Joan Of Argghh

Hello, all, I have written you a poem.

It's called "Take your pills."

Take your pills, you there, take your pills.
Take your pills, yes, that’s right, no, I don’t care.

Take them for your skin, make them into a craft
Pop them in the morning, down them with a draught.

You might be a virgin
Or a triple-digit queen
You might be gay, bi, trans or a questioning teen.

Take them for sex that you might want to try
Take them “just in case”
Or cause you think it’s fly.

Take your pills, it doesn’t make you a whore.
Take your pills, if it’s PCOS you abhor.

Cause condoms need back up
And red bumps need clearing.
Dysmenorrhoea needs treatment
Your mood might need cheering.

Take your pills, because you and your doctor know best
What goes into your body, and what you ingest.
And if you don’t want ‘em, it’s ok, it’s alright,
But leave me and my pills alone, if you might.

I say they’re necessary, I say we can’t part.
I say that I need them, it doesn’t make me a tart
Pills are a magical sciencey thing,
They’re a choice of my own, and joy do they bring.

If you’ve got a problem, and if you want a fight,
I’ll do it, I will, ‘cause you’re wrong and I’m right.

Posted on March 5, 2012 at 2:40 pm 8

On End This Terrible Relationship You're In, Please

@phewthatwasclose Good for you! Being shaken in public (or in private, or anywhere, anytime, unless you are falling asleep during a really good part in the movie and you said you didn't want to miss it) - definitely not a preemptive strike against the man. Good job good job good job!

Posted on March 4, 2012 at 9:58 am 5

On Ask a Clean Person: Let's All Make... Our Beds

@camanda Not allowed to heat your apartment above 62º??? Can you explain? (I'm intrigued.)

Posted on March 2, 2012 at 7:34 am 0

On Four Men* and a Chest

@OxfordComma As I read this I saw "post-30 babies" and thought OH MY GOD SHE HAS 30 BABIES. DO YOU NEED A BABYSITTER. Now I see you were referring to age. Very good.

Posted on February 8, 2012 at 3:58 am 6

On Woman Not a Fan?

@ru_ri So I don't think lady means what she thinks it means. "Lady: a child’s categorical noun for non-mother adults."
I vote to replace her definition with one from the dictionary. You're on, computer dictionary:

1. A woman (used as a polite or old-fashioned form of reference).
The Ladies (Brit.) a women's public toilet.
An informal, often brusque, form of address to a woman.
2. A woman of superior social position, esp. one of noble birth. A courteous, decorous, or genteel woman.
3. "One's lady" (dated). A man's wife.

Posted on February 1, 2012 at 3:44 pm 4