Deerhoof, “What Have You Done For Me Lately”

There is simply no day of the week that cannot be improved by a cover of a Janet Jackson song but this fact is PARTICULARLY true of Mondays, so here you go, my gift to you, be well you sweet babes.

Face Masks with Absolutely No Placenta Listed in the Ingredients

Here are three face masks I have in current rotation, as well as a guide to using them appropriately and some little-known facts about the restorative powers of slathering a fine layer of goo over your lady face in order to trick a man into thinking you're pretty and then marrying you, lol, shoutout to my husband if he's reading this. None of them contain placenta because I have tried to be open-minded about the fact that The Hairpin is now exclusively a placenta products blog but honestly I am struggling with it at this point in time. READ MORE

Purity Ring, "bodyache"

I, for one, welcome our slowly dancing hypnotically entrancing animatronic lady overlords.

Lupita Nyong'o's Oscar Dress Stolen, Jazmine Hughes Wanted for Further Questioning

Um this is probably unrelated but Jazmine has been lounging in a $150,000 pearl-encrusted Calvin Klein gown all week. Is Jazmine a professional couture thief masquerading as a blogger/Twitter bully?!? Oh my god, this explains so much. Wait she's right behind me ok everyone be cool.

Kanye West, "All Day"

Vicious, indeed.

The Neverending Game of Gucci Musical Chairs

If the dual firings of Mr. di Marco and Ms. Giannini came as a surprise, that was nothing compared with the reaction to the person whom Kering, Gucci’s parent company, soon chose to install in Ms. Giannini’s place: Alessandro Michele. READ MORE

Kim Kardashian, Into The Gloss

I don't know what I've done to deserve this precious gift but I will accept it with humility and grace.

Almost definitely Drake.

Bassically (HONNE Remix)

This is old in Internet time—like a week, gross, I know—but fuck it I was away and this is one of my favorite songs and the remix is great and also wasn't today just so long and aren't we so glad it's over?!?! Happy Monday etc.