Every once in a while I pop back over here to see if things are better - nope! Nope nope nopetopus.
I need a new online safe place.
I was having a terrible day today and went to the Strand for my lunch break. They didn't have the Les Mis book I wanted, but at the information desk I saw Allie's book - which I'd known about - on display. The display copy had been snagged by another person, so I took the one under it. :)
There's this secret team of worthwhile people out there. Allie Brosh is on the team, I try to be on it, and a lot of people I know are on it. This team of people makes you feel saner and heard, just by being themselves and explaining their experience of things. It's not about being perfect at all - being impatient or sad or whatever is ok. It's just, somehow, the people on this team restore balance to the world and help things make sense - even if things don't always make sense to them.
It's a secret team because you don't know who's on it until you do - like the Allied spies in WWII. They're among us, being awesome, sometimes in private. And sometimes when things are hard and you're isolated, you wonder if you're still on the team, or if your transmissions are getting through. AND THEN you get a broadcast from another secret team member, or see a sign... and this book is like a big sign that the secret team still exists.
And so when I saw the book, I was like, "YES! Secret team member book, all right," and it is on my work desk now.
I think a lot of people have left the Hairpin... all of the comment threads are getting shorter, ironically as most of the content has become more long-form. The spark is gone, I think. Sad but true.
(There may or may not even have been an unofficial "Hairpin Requiem"-themed meetup in my city, to say goodbye.)
Auuughhhh I have read all of the comments and feel gross
@Scar892 O hello troll. You're new here, I take it.
I remember hearing you talk about her in the open threads, too. I have no idea what you must be going through.
I remember you talking about her with such love and devotion. It's been a while, since I'm not on the 'Pin much anymore (since everyone left) but I remember that.
(Don't mind @Scar892 above, they are working through a certain phase of existence where they do not comprehend grief properly. I hope they never have to.)
@RNL The IT department!
I always wondered where the phrase "leaning in" comes from. Leaning into a stiff wind? Leaning into a secret conversation?
all I want is power without responsibility
Only cats and Caesar, my friend. And look what happened to Caesar. No, but if you mean a personal sense of power, like personal agency, I totally feel you.