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By JessicaLovejoy on Two Unrelated Statements

On the Throwing Shade podcast, Bryan Safi put it best concerning flaccid peens: "It's basically looking at like a goblin that's been dead for a hundred years and has shrunk."

Posted on April 10, 2013 at 12:04 pm 15

By TheRisottoRacket on The Bestworst Guy

I never dated a bestworst guy, but I was probably a bestworst girl before I starting receiving treatment for my depression and anxiety :/

Posted on March 11, 2013 at 7:16 pm 9

By Blackwatch Plaid on What Your Bag Says About You

@machinesss

Pocket sand!


Posted on February 4, 2013 at 5:13 pm 32

By machinesss on What Your Bag Says About You

A canvas messenger bag that seems to be mostly for carrying pocket sand and getting everything you put in it mysteriously dirty?

Posted on February 4, 2013 at 5:10 pm 7

By OhMyGoshYouGuys on Blue Ivy, According to Etsy

@cashmere velvet candy cane I dunno, think of how cool you'd look lighting up a Virginia Slim while you pump gas.

Posted on January 11, 2013 at 4:20 pm 3

By frigwiggin on Windows 95 Tips and Tricks

Oh, Neil Cicierega.

Posted on November 15, 2012 at 4:05 pm 1

By formergr on You Say Tomato, I Say ABE-raham

@meetapossum "Ma-TOOR" for "mature" gets me every time. Ugh.

Posted on November 12, 2012 at 3:31 pm 5

By Reginal T. Squirge on The Sweater

What.

Posted on November 7, 2012 at 5:06 pm 10

By Cawendaw on Scandals of Classic Hollywood: Ronald Reagan Plays the President

I mean this as a compliment: when read my first Scandals article, I imagined AHP as a classic dedicated scholar, digging through dusty archives and furiously scribbling notes in a beat-up moleskine. Now, over a year later, I imagine her at the top of a tower in some obscure part of the Carpathian mountains where it's always night and there's always a thunderstorm, scratching the head of her favorite vampire bat and whispering softly to herself. "Yeees, Flysbreath, I have their tears, and I have their gasps, but how can I harvest their screams? What could I write that would draw screams of helpless terror and outrage deep from within their... What's that Flysbreath? The rottenness of democracy? A Hollywood skeeziness that reached far beyond Hollywood to permanently mar the world in ways we are still discovering? Oh yeees, Flysbreath, and I know just the star, too... Oh, I can hear them already, Flysbreath... The election day screams of the 'pinners..."

Posted on November 6, 2012 at 12:32 pm 26

By Lyssachelle on A Letter to My Future Black Baby

@thiscallsforsoap With a white mom and a black dad, I have been called everything in the book, but have never been called a beigeby.
I LOVE IT AND YOU. (And Eudora.)

Posted on November 1, 2012 at 5:50 pm 9