5. Be sure to use the same sheets you've had since you graduated from college nine years ago. (A single tea-light candle on a scrap of aluminum foil is great for hiding stains!) Also, blanket covers are for pussies.
'Pride and Preju-jus'!
'The Curious Incident of the Hotdog in the Nighttime.'
(I created an account specifically to comment on this post. The only thing better than a literary pun is a literary food pun.)