@cmf406 I lost my baby a couple of weeks before my shower, and I disagree. I don't believe in "bad luck."
Getting reminders from Babies R Us about my baby shower registry for months/years afterwards really really sucked, though. And I know it was hard for my mom, who had already bought some (non-returnable) baby stuff.
Still, when I got pregnant a few years after that, I had a shower and was really grateful for all the stuff I got to get me started on my new life with my new baby.
(this time I did not register anywhere, however)
I was not aware that showers still happened like this! It's 2014... not 1950!
At ours, there were men & women. My husband & I opened the presents together. It was fun!
I went to one a few weeks ago. They insisted on no presents and just a party to celebrate their soon-to-be baby. Men & women were there. We all had a blast!
There was nothing like you describe, above, at either one. I guess it just depends on your group of friends. (I know you can't choose your co-workers)
LW4: For the record, I'm straight & married and my husband & I don't have P-in-V sex. We don't want another kid, and we're terrified of my getting pregnant. I don't want to be on the pill/hormones. He hates condoms. He's terrified of getting a vasectomy. I don't orgasm from it. My husband is (kind of irrationally) convinced that if there's a .1111% chance of my getting pregnant, I will, and he doesn't trust any contraceptive.
So, for now, it's oral. I do miss some of the intimacy of P/V sex, but it's not that big of a deal. You'll find someone. A lot of guys (and women) are worried about pregnancy & AIDS.
@Oliver St. John Mollusc To be fair, I was over 30 when I had sex with a big "above average" (IT WAS A MONSTER!) dick. So it also might have been an age/experience thing too.
I have personally found that the bigger the dick, the better the lover. And I'm not even talking about straight intercourse. You would THINK it would be the opposite. Like "I have a big dick, I don't have to work on my other sexual skills," but I have found it to be quite the reverse. Weird.
@Gilgongo Well, you're also constantly being bombarded with people telling you to have a kid, so I get it. I don't understand why perfect strangers feel that it's acceptable to tell someone that they "HAVE" to procreate. I, actually, rarely had anyone tell me that I should have kids (which I sort of found insulting, heh), but once I had one, everyone has come out of the woodwork to tell me I HAVE to have ANOTHER! "You can't just have one!!!"
Kids are not Pringles, people.
But, yeah, you can love kids and not want one. It's weird that so many people don't get that. Having a kid is fucking hard! Not to mention painful and it messes up your body. I'm shocked so many people want to do it as it is!
This was beautiful.
I have a kid. A lot (most, actually) of my friends do not. (I'm 40, if that matters) I actually love to hear about their non-baby-having lives. They are no less valid.
My favorite friends are the "I like kids... but I don't want them," ones. I have a few that are of the "BREEDER!" mentality, and I do feel a bit uncomfortable around them now. Those are the ones that I wonder are inwardly rolling their eyes at MY baby-having life when I talk about it.
On Interview with Dr. Susan Robinson, One of the Last Four Doctors in America to Openly Provide Third-Trimester Abortions
I was also very much against 3rd-trimester abortions. Thank you for posting this article! It has given me a lot to think about.
I had a stillbirth at 23 weeks, and they did that thing where they let me hold him and encouraged me to take pictures afterwards. I thought it was really weird & morbid at the time ("Take pictures of my dead baby? What?") but it ended up being extremely cathartic. I was actually in the hospital for about 4 days afterwards, and they kept him in a crib next to my bed for that whole time. Again, really weird but cathartic. Except when an orderly came in and said "Congratulations!" and I had to say "He's dead."
I also had to make a decision, when I was in labor with him (for 2 days). They could try to slow down the labor as much as they could (with medication) and I could stay in the hospital for another week or two and try to give birth to him... in which case, if he lived, he would have been born with severe disabilities. Or have them take me off the labor-slowing medication, I would give birth to him, and he would be a stillbirth. I chose the latter, and although it still makes me sad (happened 8 years ago), it was very much the right decision.
So while it wasn't technically an abortion (although I did have to have a D&C afterwards), I can see how it was somewhat similar to some of the scenarios above.
Holy crap! I also loved this book!! I read it over and over again in Jr. High and High School. I had absolutely no idea that there were sequels and/or a TV movie! I had no idea anyone else had every heard of it or read it or that it was popular in any way.
I haven't read this book as an adult (I'm 40). I'm going to have to give it a re-read. Weirdly enough, I still have my copy (with drawings I did on the cover of pom-poms, heh. It's the hard-copy version but without the outer cover). This book is so nostalgic for me that I could never get rid of it.
I have such strong memories of this book. Wow.
@Cat named Virtute Me too. (struggle with being thought of as sexual). And I'm sort of built like Christina Hendricks, so it's doubly weird. I know people who look like, well, virgins and yet they have a rich and storied sex life. I'm always sort of jealous of the people who are all "I can't believe how many losers I slept with in my 20s! UGH! Thank GOD that's over with!" I'm 40 and I've slept with 4 people. Two of them, I ended up marrying! (separately, of course). It's ridiculous to feel shame over *only* having slept with 4 people, but there it is. I'm very happily married now, but I wish I had that wiring to have been able to sleep around a bit first.