On 5 Moments in the Life of a Black Mother

This is one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever read. This will stay with me for a long time.

Posted on January 22, 2015 at 3:19 pm 1

On On Hair, There and Everywhere, and Intra-Cultural Shame

I'm impressed that you only shave every 3 days! Back before laser hair removal (which has been a wondrous miracle for me), I would have a 5pm leg shadow after shaving that morning. Ugh. Anyway, not Indian, but I can relate.

Also, a lot of "Jessica" hate on The Hairpin lately. :(
- Jess

Posted on August 19, 2014 at 4:56 pm 1

On Apologia

I loved this!

Posted on August 13, 2014 at 2:50 pm 0

On What Happened When We Gave Our Daughter My Last Name

@mc coolfriend We named our daughter a completely different last name. (My husband & I were both planning on changing our last name to the same as our daughter's, but procrastinated until she was around a year old). There was ONE time, at the airport, that the security guy gave us shit about our daughter having a different last name. Bizarre.

Also, when you get a divorce, you can easily change your last name to whatever you want. ONLY IF YOU'RE A WOMAN, though. If you're a man, you have to go through the whole "legal name change" thing with taking out ads in the paper & stuff.

Posted on July 15, 2014 at 2:29 pm 1

On What Happened When We Gave Our Daughter My Last Name

My first marriage, my husband & I combined our last names. I kept my last (maiden, which I had changed back to) name when I married my current husband, but when we had a kid, we all wanted the same last name. We each didn't particularly like the other's, heh, so we just picked a completely different one and had it legally changed. There was a period of time before we changed our name (we procrastinated) and our daughter had a totally different last name than us.

I have a weird history of changing my name, and so does my husband. I was born with a last name that was a shortened version of my bio dad's (very ethnic) name. Then, when I was 12, I changed it to my mom's maiden name (hated my last name that no one could pronounce). Then the combo of my husband & my last name. And now with the made up one. So I've had 4 last names.

My husband was born with his bio dad's last name. Then it was changed to his step dad's name when he was a baby. Then he changed it to a completely made up name in his 20s (didn't get along with his step dad and didn't want his name) and now he has the one he made up with me. So he's had 3 last names.

Weird, huh. The importance people put on names. I kind of think it's all bullshit. I like what we did with picking a new last name when we became a family.

Posted on July 15, 2014 at 2:24 pm 1

On Ask A Costume Historian: Help, My Brother Wants Me To Be His Suit-Wearing Best Man

At my (first) wedding, I had my bridesmaids rent "female" tuxes (it was like a tuxedo jacket, tailored for a woman, and a long skirt w/ a slit up the side). We all went out and picked out a shirt they liked to wear under it. They looked amazing (they all LOVED how sexy the tuxes were) and it was way cheaper than buying something. That's my recommendation.

Also, I just found this: http://jezebel.com/5500252/when-youre-the-ellen-where-do-you-get-the-tux

Posted on June 24, 2014 at 3:24 pm 1

On Interview with a Woman Who Recently Discovered She Loves Group Sex

And THIS is why group sex fantasies will stay group sex fantasies. I'm glad the author had a good time, but the thought of blowing a bunch of different guys and then having to get myself off is my idea of a nightmare.

It seemed like she just went to service a bunch of men. And, again, that's FINE if that's what turns her on. In my idle "I have sex with two or men" thoughts/fantasies, it's the exact opposite.

I'm curious if women go there and are all "You do stuff to ME," and then walk away leaving the guy un-orgasmed.

Posted on April 25, 2014 at 6:22 pm 0

On On Having a Gay Voice

I found this heartbreaking & inspiring.

In high school, my english teacher (in a non-religious, fairly urban/suburban area. Public school. This was the late 80s) found out that someone was coming to do a presentation about AIDS and he said (in front of the class) "Ugh, we don't want these faggots coming here giving us AIDS!"

And, as shy as I was, I called him on it. I couldn't believe he'd said that, out loud, to a bunch of high school kids (some of them who were probably gay). I was then known as "The Dyke" by the students (even people I didn't know would point me out) for about a year and "That girl who likes gay people."

As completely horrible as it was, I can't even imagine what it would have been like if I actually HAD been gay & trying to hide it. The english teacher later, at the end of the year, told me I had broadened his mind and made him think before he spoke, so... that's good, I guess.

Posted on April 25, 2014 at 5:29 pm 3

On Adventures with UPS Man

I'm so happy to learn I'm not the only one who has their UPS guy hate them, heh. Mine keeps making passive-aggresive remarks like "You sure do get a lot of packages!"

Yes I do non-hot UPS man. Yes I do.

Posted on April 8, 2014 at 8:00 pm 0

On Teeth Dreams

I have teeth-falling-out dreams, too. Have ever since I was a teenager (I'm 41 now). They often turn into lucid dreams now because I'm so used to them that I realize I'm dreaming during it.

A couple of years ago, I tried opening a nail polish bottle with my back teeth (REALLY REALLY STUPID!), and I felt part of my back tooth snap off from the rest. I sat there in absolute shock and was completely convinced I was dreaming. All day & the next until I could get to the dentist, I had to keep reminding myself that I wasn't in some sort of horrible nightmare that I was going to wake up from. (I ended up getting a cap for it)

I have another similar dream where I'm chewing gum, and I'm trying to get it out of my mouth, but it's stuck to my back teeth... plus there's suddenly a lot. I spend hours and hours trying to get that gum out of my mouth. One time, I was making out with John Cusack (in my dream) when this happened. I was pissed!

Posted on April 3, 2014 at 5:18 pm 0