On Formative Sexperiments

@retrvertigo 1000000% agree with this statement. I also thought Lumiere was hotter as a candlestick. That French accent, those phallic-shaped arms, he could light my wick with his flame any day of the week. Human Lumiere has gross hair.

Posted on March 13, 2015 at 11:53 am 0

On What's the Best Time Your Family Has Ever Trolled You?: The Answers

@bethasaur I mean, making a masturbation joke about a five-year-old is pretty terrible. But I laughed really loud at that one.

Posted on February 22, 2015 at 10:13 am 0

On The Best Time I Dropped Out Of College (Twice)

I wish I'd dropped out and did something better with my time and (non)money, or at least had the courage to transfer to a more reasonable school. Now I'm underemployed, over indebted, and deciding if I should do more school. I'd rather break my knee caps.

Posted on November 24, 2014 at 1:35 pm 0


@heyderpette OH AND AND AND one Daniel DeVito did *not* get elected mayor there! Vaughan is home to cool-sounding people.

I don't know why I'm so interested in this, I didn't even vote.

Posted on October 28, 2014 at 10:59 am 0


He also got exactly 6666 votes, in case you're into weird number coincidences like moi.

Posted on October 28, 2014 at 10:47 am 0

On The Best Time I Watched My Doctor Examine My Stool Sample

best poop story I've read in ages.

Posted on September 10, 2014 at 4:02 pm 1

On September Horoscopes From Galactic Rabbit


Posted on September 4, 2014 at 8:02 pm 0

On I Swear I'm Going to Be a Really Cool Bride

Oh god, this is too real. I have "laidback bride" experiences in my back pocket. Bride #1 actually was laidback and cool, only her other bridesmaids decided to make up for her lack of bridezillaness. Bride #2 isn't bad, but she did make me buy a dress that I'll never wear again and really wants these big exciting bachelorette weekend thingies that I just. can't. afford. Bride #3, my dear best friend, is planning her wedding from across the country and has all these expectations on dresses and one bridesmaid (who is actually Bride #2, fun fact) is like "she's totally a bridezilla!!!" and I'm kinda sad to say that she sort of is being one a little bit. B#3 is just going to want everything to be perfect. And so many things are going to go wrong. I hope she'll be ok with that.

ANYWAY I really will be a cool laidback bride because if I marry the dude I'm seeing (which I hope I do) he's planning the affair because he's the one who actually cares. I just wanna eat food with people and say HEY GUYS I LOVE YOU FOR BEING HERE!!! I don't want showers or bachelorette parties or limos or matching dresses and honestly I just don't care that much about colour schemes anyways. And rings? I don't want a single ring on my person ever. I lose that shit.

Posted on August 13, 2014 at 11:50 am 1

On Sex Manual Returned to New York Public Library 54 Years Past Due Date

@beetnemesis hey man, the m-word grosses me right the eff out. That said, coitus is pretty gross-sounding too. *shudder*

Posted on July 31, 2014 at 3:11 pm 0

On July Horoscopes from Galactic Rabbit

how do you know exactly everything?

Posted on July 8, 2014 at 1:22 am 0