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On The Best Time I Watched My Doctor Examine My Stool Sample

best poop story I've read in ages.

Posted on September 10, 2014 at 4:02 pm 1

On September Horoscopes From Galactic Rabbit

goddamn.

Posted on September 4, 2014 at 8:02 pm 0

On I Swear I'm Going to Be a Really Cool Bride

Oh god, this is too real. I have "laidback bride" experiences in my back pocket. Bride #1 actually was laidback and cool, only her other bridesmaids decided to make up for her lack of bridezillaness. Bride #2 isn't bad, but she did make me buy a dress that I'll never wear again and really wants these big exciting bachelorette weekend thingies that I just. can't. afford. Bride #3, my dear best friend, is planning her wedding from across the country and has all these expectations on dresses and one bridesmaid (who is actually Bride #2, fun fact) is like "she's totally a bridezilla!!!" and I'm kinda sad to say that she sort of is being one a little bit. B#3 is just going to want everything to be perfect. And so many things are going to go wrong. I hope she'll be ok with that.

ANYWAY I really will be a cool laidback bride because if I marry the dude I'm seeing (which I hope I do) he's planning the affair because he's the one who actually cares. I just wanna eat food with people and say HEY GUYS I LOVE YOU FOR BEING HERE!!! I don't want showers or bachelorette parties or limos or matching dresses and honestly I just don't care that much about colour schemes anyways. And rings? I don't want a single ring on my person ever. I lose that shit.

Posted on August 13, 2014 at 11:50 am 1

On Sex Manual Returned to New York Public Library 54 Years Past Due Date

@beetnemesis hey man, the m-word grosses me right the eff out. That said, coitus is pretty gross-sounding too. *shudder*

Posted on July 31, 2014 at 3:11 pm 0

On July Horoscopes from Galactic Rabbit

how do you know exactly everything?

Posted on July 8, 2014 at 1:22 am 0

On Having the Best-Selling Cake and Eating the Review, Too: An Interview With Jennifer Weiner

@grayzip except that Jack Reacher-type novels still have a significant female audience. Chick lit is pretty-near-exclusively read by women only.

Posted on June 24, 2014 at 10:30 am 0

On Sia feat. Lena Dunham, "Chandelier"

guysssss, Sia is Australian. Just because she's super blonde doesn't mean she's Swedish!

Posted on June 10, 2014 at 11:42 am 0

On GOOP for Normals: An Attainable Lifestyle Newsletter

I like to silently judge my neighbour's just-as-much-of-a-loafer-as-I-am son for the shitty music he plays from his car radio while I'm outside reading great classics such as The Simpson's Treehouse of Horror or the June issue of InStyle (that Shailene Woodley! She's interesting).

Posted on June 9, 2014 at 5:02 pm 1

On Better Chipotle Cups

@Chareth Cutestory You went there and I am grateful

Posted on May 19, 2014 at 9:30 pm 0

On Katy Perry, "Birthday"

@AmbiSinister yes to this completely, I thought she was doing a Groucho Marx thing.

Posted on April 10, 2014 at 8:17 pm 0