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By frumious bandersnatch on The Spinsterhood Pie

100% being by myself in my own space is the greatest forever and always amen

Posted on July 2, 2013 at 7:02 pm 9

By Angry Panda on The Spinsterhood Pie

100% Dislike being around other human beings 24/7.

Posted on July 2, 2013 at 5:28 pm 30

By iceberg on Friday Open Thread

Bergy Bits, why are you crying this week?

I want to wear THOSE training undies, not these ones. However, I will mislead you by simply trying to rip these ones off, then screaming about milk for 20 minutes (making you open and close the fridge multiple times) and running up and down the length of the house wailing for my daddy (who has gone to the shops with my brother) before tearfully confessing that I just want to swap undies.

This juice is in the wrong cup

This apple juice I asked for is not orange juice

You won't let me run in traffic

I want jelly beans for breakfast

I want you to change my diaper on this random spot on the rug, not on the changing pad.

You won't let me, your son, wear a pink polka-dot dress to daycare. I have no concept of why this is; all I know is that my sisters both get to wear new dresses and I don't. UNACCEPTABLE.

You won't let me wear sneakers and/or fleecy sweatpants in 150 degree weather

In other news:
(1) Apparently we've reached the age where lying is not restricted to the contents of one's own diaper, because the Diva claimed the other day that "[The Clown] pooped right there." *points at base of tree in front of house*
(2) For some reason (complicatedly involving "please" and "peas") we stupidly decided to teach them to say "piss" instead of "pee" for urine; it's quite something to witness a cherubic little toddler radiantly exclaimning "Piss!" because she just has.
(3) The BBs ate Popsicles (Paddle Pops) for the first time the other day, and we were talking about eating ice cream on sticks. The Quiet One piped up "mama eat a dick" (and when we laughed, kept repeating it delightedly).

Posted on June 14, 2013 at 3:34 pm 42

By hallelujah on Friday Open Thread

I spilled a full glass of red wine on my baby's head last night. He's a little purple today. At least I don't have to worry about getting him baptized now (that's how that works, right?)

HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD FIRST WEEK, JIA. Let's Pinup, Michigan!

ETA: I did the opposite of what that article suggested, & started playing Candy Crush today. WHY GOD WHYYYYY.

Posted on June 14, 2013 at 3:34 pm 41

By ironhoneybee on How to Remember Father's Day

@A. Louise My Dad was the guy across the hall, too, but then, there were many guys across the hall that we encountered throughout his treatment, which lasted exactly one calendar year from diagnosis to death. For every one of them and their families, at some point, we were the lucky ones, even though it didn't feel lucky at all.

@DullHypothesis With an inbox full of messages from companies imploring me to "buy something special for Dad" (UNSUBSCRIBE), I generally still avoid anything father's day related, even though it's been 3 years since he died. I'm glad I read this article, though, because it's lovely and it always makes me really glad to hear about anyone beating/living well after cancer. And anyone who can go through cancer treatment and come out the other side deserves a big fucking pat on the back in my book.

So for this father's day, instead of focusing on the empty space where my dad should be, I'm just gonna focus all my best wishes to Maura's dad instead. Best wishes to you, man! Your daughter is a terrific writer and you, sir, are obviously a badass.

Posted on June 14, 2013 at 3:27 pm 6

By meetapossum on How to Remember Father's Day

@Absurd Bird "we all have things to grieve, loss is an equal opportunity offender, and it's better to remember the good and loving things that exist in the world and in my life."

I'm going to print this out and read it over and over again until it is etched on the back of my eyelids and I remember it before I fall asleep every night.

Posted on June 14, 2013 at 1:39 pm 7

By A. Louise on How to Remember Father's Day

I really wish I hadn't read this as someone with a similar experience but whose dad was the guy across the hall who didn't make it.

The last sentence of this essay makes me a bitter and angry and ugly person.

Posted on June 14, 2013 at 12:14 pm 13

By DullHypothesis on How to Remember Father's Day

(This is my piece. Hello!) I am excited to watch Dad cry happy tears about this. Thank you very much, Hairpin, you've given me a great Father's Day gift for him.

Posted on June 14, 2013 at 12:10 pm 37

By TheLetterL on Do You Suffer From Bitchy Resting Face?

@angelinha Let's all keep an eye out for each other tomorrow. You'll know me because I look hostile and don't make eye contact. Come say hi!

<3 you, MBTAie.

Posted on June 13, 2013 at 6:56 pm 8

By JessAndNo21 on Do You Suffer From Bitchy Resting Face?

@bevrockin "Hey, you'd be a lot less dead if you shut the fuck up!!" and the bitchface prophecy becomes self-actualized.

Posted on June 13, 2013 at 6:09 pm 15