So many thoughts after reading this that I am having trouble putting into words. I hope Meredith finds some small comfort in her wonderful written voice, and thank her for sharing this.
"The first time in my life that people have paid attention to what I have to say and it's threatening to take my voice away for good."
That is going to stick with me for quite a while.
Just last week I fell into a sad cycle. Once it sets in I usually put on something moody, often Waxahatchee, and sit, alone, trying to adsorb even more saddness. It ended on Friday when I failed as cheering myself up with my favorite happy hour, as we got turned away since it was jammed packed and we walked back home in the freezing wind. I laid on the sofa and just sobbed. And then it slowly sheds off. I eat dinner, and drink a cocktail my boyfriend made. Watch You've Got Mail on Netflix. When sadness comes in appropriate cycles I find in restorative. It it such a great feeling when you can tell it has slipped off your shoulders.
wow so good
DC is pretty diverse and we have a lot of green space and free arts and educational events! Not sure you could beat Queens in terms of the different populations all mixed together though. DC is still generally segregated into pockets - east vs west in the city, and then some of the communities 5-45 minutes outside of the city.
I loved this, thank you.
Just want to say I have been enjoying the site and looking forward to many more weeks!
Have a great weekend everybody!
If it makes you feel any better, I am a child who seems to have climbed out of the hole of hating my mother. She is deeply flawed, or I should say scarred by childhood abuse and on going mental health issues. She was absent for much of youth - traveling extensively for work and working very late when she was 'home.' I grew up with my dad, and for a long time held this over her and closed her out. She is trying now - to be there. And I am slowly letting her in. So I guess to say, even if you make mistakes as a mother, there is time. And if you are willing to fix them later - it can work.
I also find that this childhood has completely steered me. I was at one point very competitive, but now my biggest career goal is "don't work overtime." I am obsessed with the idea that if I have a kid, I will watch him or her grow up. But deep down I know it was the detachment - not the absence. My mom had no effort left for mothering. The travel was incidental.
I have to have faith that I will learn from this, and trying my best to raise a child will be something good.
@beetnemesis You cannot remove your personal choices and actions and personify them into the internet. Certainly the internet did not reach a spindly hand out of the computer screen, and push your head so that you could not look away, as it navigated towards stolen photos? Hiding your actions under the actions of a group is extremely dangerous for us all. No one is above personal responsibility. It is a commentary on YOURSELF. You do not feel that these people have a right to privacy. You think if someone else did the stealing, you are absolved of guilt for partaking in the spoils. THIS is fucked up, you are a part of it.
You are saying your personal needs for sexual curiosity outweigh a woman's right to privacy. There is no. other. way. to look at this.
You seem wonderful, I am so excited.