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The Service Was Terrible and I Won't Be Coming Again: A Yelper Reviews Some Dicks

Tim, 29, Los Angeles, CA (✮☆☆): This dick used to be great, like, three years ago. But it’s really taken a turn for the worse over the past yearnow the lines are huge, it takes forever to be served, and when you finally get your dick, it’s usually cold and too salty, but they won’t take it back and get you a new one because they’re “too busy.” I blame the neighborhood influx of hipstersugh, go back to Ohio, you guys! Anyway, I’m giving it three stars for all my memories of how good this dick used to be, but I guess it’s time for me to find a new regular Sunday morning dick. I hear there’s a pretty good new one over in Westwood. READ MORE

Popular Young Adult Literature, Revised for Today's Reader

If there is one idea that we can all agree on, it is that all popular literature needs to be re-written once every 25 years or so, so that nobody gets confused by a book’s weird, outdated references to “sanitary napkin belts” or “Spiro T. Agnew.” READ MORE

Family-Style Restaurants That Appear Only in Dreams

Eerie Mists & Weird, Uneven Shadows Baking Co. READ MORE

Dating Advice Guides for Today's Modern Monster

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Poltergeist READ MORE

The Top Five Lesser-Known Failed Apocalypses

The world is probably going to end tomorrow! Alternately, the world is definitely not going to end tomorrow! Frequent, vigorous, nonsensical, and ultimately unsuccessful apocalyptic predictions are a part of our shared cultural heritage; making them is a tradition we're simply carrying forward. READ MORE

Talking to Ghosts on Cell Phones

In our politically divided, socially stratified world, it is nice to know that 48% of Americans can agree on one thing: ghosts are everywhere. Floating around, seeing you when you’re sleeping, knowing when you’re awake, silently judging all the life choices you’ve made since college. READ MORE

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Seeing a Band Made Entirely* of General Hospital Actors

What the hell are you talking about? READ MORE