I feel like I will officially be an adult when I can paint my nails and not ruin them within the hour that follows. I'm 32, and it's still not happened! It's not that I can't sit still, it's more that some disaster inevitably comes up that demands the use of my hands, and also my polish seems to take *hours* to set. Bah!!
This is sad and funny and David Sedaris-y and I love it.
I love this piece of writing so much, I want to clasp it to my heaving bosom and swoon.