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On We Need to Talk About Jellyfish

@Megasus Seriously, Ocean, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

Posted on September 9, 2013 at 1:21 pm 0

On Are You Part of the 16% of People Who Can't Look at This Without Screaming?

@lemonadefish Holey inanimate objects don't bother me. (If they did, I'd vom into my colander, and it would go everywhere, because colander.) It's the living stuff that is repulsive and needs to be cleansed with all the fire.

Posted on September 9, 2013 at 1:04 pm 11

On Are You Part of the 16% of People Who Can't Look at This Without Screaming?

GODDAMMIT WE HAVE ALREADY HAD THIS DISCUSSION, AND SHARED HOW THE LOTUS BOOB PHOTOSHOP DESTROYED SOME OF US FOR WEEKS, AND HOW WE SAW IT EVERY TIME WE CLOSED OUR EYES WHAT ARE YOU DOING AND WHY FOR? WHY FOR??

Posted on September 9, 2013 at 12:59 pm 14

On I Do Care. I Don’t Love It.

Zero world problem.

Posted on September 5, 2013 at 12:35 pm 10

On Ask a Glutton: When Your Food Groups Are Cheese, Chocolate, and Coffee

What is the problem, #1? Cook for yourselves and eat what you like, as I presume you've always done. What does moving in change? You share a fridge now, not a mouth.

Posted on September 3, 2013 at 1:23 pm 9

On Eradicate Your Resting Bitchface with a $2000 "Valentine Anguloplasty"

Pfft. I need this bitchface. When I actually smile, the receiver keeps showering me with compliments/gifts/fries so I don't stop.

Posted on August 29, 2013 at 12:21 pm 2

On I Don't Care, I Can't Stop, and I Love It: Miley Cyrus and Ironic Decadence

@Ladyface Dodai Smith is her non-union Mexican equivalent.

Posted on August 27, 2013 at 4:20 pm 2

On I Don't Care, I Can't Stop, and I Love It: Miley Cyrus and Ironic Decadence

@Emby Beg pardon?

Posted on August 27, 2013 at 3:33 pm 0

On I Don't Care, I Can't Stop, and I Love It: Miley Cyrus and Ironic Decadence

she adopts Jamaican patois briefly

*literally throws papers in the air*

I am going to 7-11 and I am going to buy something terrible like a Four Loko. I don't care what time/day it is. Done. DONE. See you in 20.

Posted on August 27, 2013 at 12:15 pm 21

On What If Gwyneth Paltrow Is Merely a Mirror of Our Own Obnoxiousness?

I would think her the font from which all White Woman tears flow forth, except that I'm pretty sure her tears would just be some sort of artisanal pesto. Which probably tastes good also, but is not quite as nourishing.

Posted on August 21, 2013 at 3:54 pm 16