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Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

I love writing but I'm bad at writing about me.

By mirablu on The One True Guide To Having Curly Hair

Call upon the doves and spiders to wrap your hair in fresh silk and laurels before you sleep, lest your cloud-pillow create a single tangle with its jealousy. The silk must be fresh, so its heart is pure.

Have you ever heard your hair make a noise as a strand breaks? It has cursed you. A split end will erupt, and it may tear all the way to the cuticle, and finally split in your brain. Do you want split neurons? No? Then you had better not be using any combs with teeth narrower than the prescribed 0.84 inches, hadn't you?

Posted on August 21, 2014 at 2:25 pm 2

By mymymyriah on Drake and Nicki Minaj Conversation

>>> Nicki: What if you just phoned it in like Jay Z in "Drunk in Love"??

Hahahahahaha. Yes.

Also I am pro Nicki's new habit of having male rappers stand or sit around in her videos while she does all the talking.

Posted on August 20, 2014 at 11:54 am 1

By inthepost on Never Bring Your Boyfriend to Brunch

I always feel so bad about this but like, I want at least 24-48 hours' notice if a friend is bringing their partner to a hangout that was going to be one-on-one. I have to mentally prepare! I already don't see these friends enough! Their partners are mostly great but they are not my best friends? I feel like this is a thing that most single people feel and then forget as soon as they are in a couple.

Posted on August 19, 2014 at 1:00 pm 3

By commanderbanana on Female New York Post Writer Feels Differently Than Other Women

Welp, this is disgusting. This makes me want to follow Doree "Chaff-For-Brans" Lewak around with bins filled with ice water and pigeon droppings and periodically drench her with them. "Oh I'm sorry! I just assumed by your confident strut and significant eye contact that you WANTED the ice cold water and pigeon droppings poured over you, because that's how I catcall ladies."
Also, Doree "My Brain May Be Made of Spam, We Just Don't Know" Lewak, those hunky Israeli construction workers you're referring to would have been, you know, enslaved. So fuck you too.

Posted on August 19, 2014 at 12:15 pm 3

By ghechr on Mo'ne Davis is Your New Child Hero

This is a good place to make a shout out to Jackie Mitchell, a female AA pitcher who struck out both BABE RUTH and LOU GEHRIG just moments before MLB banned women from playing! (The ban lasted all the way until 1992!)

Posted on August 18, 2014 at 12:39 pm 2

By Jia Tolentino on It's Been Real, Buds

I AM LUCKY THAT ALL OF YOU READ ME FOR SO LONG AND MY DOG AND I WILL C U IN NYC IN LIKE A MONTH

Posted on August 15, 2014 at 3:28 pm 5

By inthepost on I Swear I'm Going to Be a Really Cool Bride

I loved this as soon as I read the title, but then "Brayden" and I giggle-snorted and got shushed by my whole office.

So real.

Posted on August 12, 2014 at 12:31 pm 1

By and it's not even my birthday on Celebrating One Year of Prince George, My Favorite Celebrity

Rusty Obama McFreedom!

Posted on July 22, 2014 at 2:41 pm 1

By cmcm on In Support of Debra Harrell, Jailed for Letting Her 9-Year-Old Play Unsupervised in the Park

Because putting a single mother in jail is DEFINITELY going to improve the life of this 9 year old girl.

Posted on July 16, 2014 at 5:39 am 5

By crocuta on Commodity Fetish: This Is Not Really What a Feminist Looks Like

This was great!

I've also noticed that most companies like Feminist Apparel seem entirely unconcerned with where their products are sourced from. It's bit ironic to have something like "Feminism is for Everybody" printed on a shirt that might have been sewn by an underpaid teenage girl in a third-world sweatshop.

Posted on July 7, 2014 at 5:46 pm 3