What I wouldn't give to hear that witch version of "Girls". Also, Kathleen, I love you. Always.
I have a fine selection of polka, just for the occasion of sex-ruining. Not really, but it seemed to work wonders on the loud dude I shared a wall with in college. I recommend the "Too Fat Polka". Come to think of it, Weird Al would be just awful, spectacularly awful. Also, any John Philip Sousa.
@Faintly Macabre Since when is being self-absorbed the antithesis of being charming? Obviously, you can be the embodiment of both.
@chnellociraptor I love this one, it makes me feel all melancholy-romantic. I always end up reading them and sighing "Oh!" after each one. Also, puns. omg, "rigor samsa".
On Get It, Girl
@S. Elizabeth I think I got a talk from her, too! Very weepy woman with a mullet. Kids had to go up to her and say, "I'm worth waiting for!" to get a pin. I just sat there with my arms crossed, scowling, and when my friends asked why I didn't go up, I told them I didn't believe one word of it, and I knew they didn't either. They replied, "But it's free stuff!!!" Ironically, I ended up the last virgin among them.
Wait, how did you know I wanted to be a naturalist? I guess forgetting about my dreams has saved my life countless times. Oh, who am I kidding, I'm afraid to go to a climbing gym. I wouldn't have lasted a day collecting beetles, anyways. 2 hours into it I'm all, "I'm hungry, and sweaty, and my feet hurt. I'm going home."
I saw her play a couple of times, and it was pretty much watching an entire room fall in love with her. Swearin' played the second show, too, and were just as amazing...now I'm just bragging. Anyways, go see her live, it will melt you into a puddle of feelings.
@leon s I have cried at Disney movies in the theater, which I am way to cynical to really be a fan of, and afterwards, I am a bit ashamed and I get mad at the movies for making me feel false emotions.
I once burst into tears in a philosophy seminar in college because we were talking about feelings in the general sense, and it made me emotional. I've had to limit myself on public crying, but I am a proponent.