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smack

smack

Just a girl who likes stuff and doesn't like other stuff.

On Beauty Q&A: Shells, Bra Purses, and The Next New 'Do

Silk scarves! I have like 40 of them because my mom gave them all to me. Ok well some are polyester but they're vintage also who cares. Ain't no shame in polyester! Who is grabbing your scarf anyway?

I admit to being a little scaredycat of scarves except in hair. My problem is that they always slip off so I bobby pin them on and so what! I think maybe wearing as a super-wide headband thing would be cute (I have been doing beehives lately and beehives + scarf = ADORABLE, or just scarf headband with teased crown (that might help I don't know) plus bangs is so fucking 60s French I don't even.

Also places like Yoox and flash sale sites and TheRealReal (which is my new obsession and I am mad I didn't buy that Margiela hobo when I had the CHANCE) have some great deals on designer scarves if that matters (I don't think it matters).

Posted on January 23, 2013 at 4:14 pm 3

On Vigilance vs. Obsession

@fondue with cheddar I know this feeling! I was an athletic kid who never worried about it, never thought about it and started gaining weight pretty steadily after hitting puberty (and the bong) and I'm struggling now at 34 with like, eating smaller food amounts.

That being said, I never felt ugly in school, I never ever even thought about being too fat or engaged in that bullshit oneupsmanship of middle and high school of "no but I'm so ugly, look at these Quasimodo legs" or whatever. If anything, I think I got so fat because I still think a lot of times I look hot as shit even though I'm sure dillweed bros and redditors disagree. I think sure, it's a process as I get older, learning my new diet over again, but I think there are a lot of lifelong benefits to my personality, my ability to have healthy relationships, and all that other shit that goes along with not havin wrecked self-esteem that I don't think I'd trade it.

Posted on January 15, 2013 at 2:16 pm 1

On Affection, Gift Returns, and Professors on Facebook

I am not a touch person. I don't really like to be cuddled or smooched too much, I think Frenching is gross and I'm happily married to a cuddle monster of a man. I don't think he's THRILLED by the fact that I don't like him to let me or that I'm not into being touched anywhere but like my upper arms (everyplace else is so sensitive! It's like nails on a chalkboard!) but we have instituted Cuddle Sundays where I am obligated to cuddle and pet him and (I quote) "think about how much I love him." It seems only fair since he needs it and I don't. I'm sure it sounds weird or negotiated or sterile but it works for us. So before maybe pulling the DTMFA, you might want to, I don't know, TALK to him? Explain what you need and how you feel like you're not getting it? Come up with a compromise?

Ugh. Cuddling. It's so stifling. Doesn't mean I don't love my husband, and I kiss him and touch him but I much prefer telling him how much I love him (I do! Love him! He's the best!). But then, a super cuddler would be a deal breaker for me.

Posted on January 15, 2013 at 1:07 pm 9

On "A Tool That Does Suck Dust"

It reminds me of Cisco IOS pretzel logic. "No shutdown" should never ever ever be command line syntax for turning something on!

(sorry I know this isn't slashdot)

Posted on November 30, 2012 at 2:24 pm 0

On Nobody Loves an Albatross

Oh, this movie is so great. A few years back I got my husband one of the original Polish School posters for the release (the Andrzej Pagowski one), so seeing this just inspired me to buy another poster for him for this Christmas.

Also Charles Grodin! World's most dickish OB/GYN!

Posted on November 21, 2012 at 3:49 pm 0

On Bread Makes Three

I will take the goat cheese and olive sandwich minus the bread and olive plus one spoon under a light in my kitchen in my underwear, please.

Posted on September 10, 2012 at 10:13 pm 1

On When to Buy a Plane Ticket

@meetapossum I think flights have gotten lots more expensive. There were CRAZY sales and promos in 2009. We just booked tickets to Dublin for next month and I think wound up paying around $1100 pp. it sucks. Also who the hell connects through Helsinki?

Posted on August 10, 2012 at 12:45 pm 0

On Beauty Q&A: Bitter Pills

@Reginal T. Squirge GODDAMN YOU AND YOUR NICE THING YOU SAID IN AN INTERESTING TO READ WAY.

Will we get to a point where much like spelling mistake/grammarian instincts, we don't have to educate straight cis males on their witless contributions to the privilege of the patriarchy? Can a statement about eyebrows just be a fucking statement about eyebrows? Will people on the Internet give someone the benefit of the doubt they'd give to a stranger at a cocktail party? Or if not the benefit of the doubt just some good old fashioned keep-their-own-counseling? Probably not. I mean I couldn't resist posting.

On my Internet grave it will say Smack: A Lifelong Feminist; The Radfems Are What Did Her In.

Posted on June 19, 2012 at 12:12 pm 2

On Beauty Q&A: Caftans, Baby Gifts, and What Is Up With BB Creams?

@Jane Err What! You guys! I am totally fat and you know what I say about people telling me I can't wear shorts? "go fuckyourself" that's what. It is like eyebrow pencil - you think it looks terrible and freaky but nobody else does, unless they're assholes who don't enjoy well-defined, pretty eyebrows. Wear shorts! It's hot! Fuck the man, you look great!

Posted on June 1, 2012 at 11:07 am 3

On Beauty Q&A: Caftans, Baby Gifts, and What Is Up With BB Creams?

YOU GUYS. I own those F21 shorts and just got complimented on them LAST WEEK. I wore them with a black and white striped top (I know! Stripes and patterns!) and these ombré hot pink ballet flats and it was awesome? I felt like it was wasted on hanging out with my parents in Ft. Myers.

Anyway! Those shorts rock but don't buy them so I look cuter but if you do, wash them separately b/c the dye is not colorfast.

Posted on June 1, 2012 at 10:49 am 0