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On The Least Appealing Foods I’ve Eaten in Eight Years of Travel Writing

@piekin Isn't Beverly supposed to taste a lot like Chinotto? I fuckin' LOVE Chinotto, it's like more drinkable Angostura bitters (which I also love, although, I mean, obviously not STRAIGHT UP).

Posted on May 6, 2013 at 7:17 pm 0

On Faking Orgasms for Fun (?) and Profit

@hallelujah Speaking as a guy, I thought that women reaching orgasm through penetration was the norm for FAR longer than I could admit with a straight face. And while I'm not confident at all saying MOST men or even LOTS of men think that's the case, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that the number is LARGER THAN IT SHOULD BE.

Also I think that just giving up the game is the way to go. It's entirely likely that this dude thinks the same way I used to, and allowing him to keep that assumption doesn't benefit anyone (and it might actually make something ELSE worse down the line).

Posted on March 28, 2013 at 11:28 am 5

On Get This Look: David Bowie

Get The Look: The Thin White Duke!

[Picture of a huge pile of cocaine]

Posted on March 15, 2013 at 11:44 am 8

On Leaving Westboro Baptist: An Interview

When I was a teenager, I did this Catholic youth weekend retreat through my high school. We watched really emotional presentations from speakers, did group exercises, and a bunch of other bland stuff. But by the end, I was sobbing all over the place and sharing deep secrets with people and feeling this like great cleansing and reawakening -- and I was and am a total and complete atheist who mindfully disagreed with basically the entire trappings and went into it mocking the whole thing. And looking back there's just a total disconnect between the normal me and who I briefly was on that retreat. I literally cannot fathom what was going on in my head.

And that's only like a tiny, almost entirely benign dose of what an actual cult does day-in and day-out, all the time, for years and years on end. It's really easy to scoff at this sort of thing and say none of their beliefs make any sense, etc. But I think that kind of misses the point a little of why cults are so alluring? That shit is powerful and has an effect on you regardless of whether you agree with any of the concepts or not -- it's entirely social- and emotional-brainy, not think-brainy.

Posted on March 13, 2013 at 4:17 pm 18

On The First Holiday Negotiating In-Law (or Almost-In-Law) Needs and Wants

The past couple years I've been getting really grumpy at Christmas and Thanksgiving because the Family Holiday Dinner torch passed from my grandparents after my grandfather passed away. It's understandable, since my grandfather did all the cooking and my grandmother haaaaaaates doing anything in the kitchen, but the relatives who host it now are loud and argumentative at the best of times and even moreso in their own house, and now they've started inviting all their weird coworkers and odd friends, when in the past it was purely family.

And I know it's petty and I'm sure a big part of this is just Growing Up And Realizing Things Can't Stay The Same, but I've started feeling like my relatives are HOLIDAY HIJACKERS. And they live further away and are difficult and there's always uncomfortable arguments and aaaaaaaaaaaaa. I never understood why people got crazy around the holidays, but I'm starting to.

Posted on November 20, 2012 at 4:39 pm 0

On Friday Bargain Bin: A Horn of Plenty

@Leon Tchotchke Yo actually I take that back, it's probably closer to $30 once I priced it out. BUT STILL.

Posted on November 16, 2012 at 2:26 pm 0

On Friday Bargain Bin: A Horn of Plenty

Yo that cheese is a ripoff. I'd even go so far as to say TOTAL BULLSHIT. That's like $15-20 worth of cheese MAX.

Posted on November 16, 2012 at 2:24 pm 0

On How to Boil Eggs

@dinos This is only like barely related, but I had a hell of a time convincing my wife that eggs don't go bad in two weeks and in fact KEEP FOR A REALLY, ALMOST TERRIFYINGLY LONG TIME. I finally won her over though (mostly by making breakfasts when she didn't think there was anything in the fridge BUT LOOK THERE'S THESE OLD BUT STILL GOOD EGGS!!!! :O) and now I can keep eggs around!

Posted on October 17, 2012 at 4:40 pm 4

On Those Little Notes

Shortly after we started really-dating, my wife bought me a huge bag of those individually wrapped breathmints (which at the time I ate constantly) and stuck a paper adhesive label on each one with a little mini-love-note printed on each. I ate all the mints eventually but I refused to throw out the wrappers because of the notes, and I know for a fact that inside a box in my basement there is now a tupperware container filled with empty breathmint wrappers and little paper lovenotes.

Posted on July 18, 2012 at 11:04 am 11

On Ask a Clean Person: Dusty Air-Conditioners and Dirty Fans

@Jade Ooh! Ooh! It might be something as innocuous as shampoo or bodywash with a dye in it. The same thing happened to my tub when some shampoo spilled and ran down the walls while we were on vacation, and I guess because it sat there for several days until we got back the weird yellow stains refuse to come out completely. (The tub/shower is this incredibly terrible pink color, though, so it's actually sort of an improvement).

Posted on July 12, 2012 at 12:35 pm 1