All the people asking "when did this happen?"
'“Yeah,” she said as if it were obvious. “Vibrators, dildos, anal beads, handcuffs?”'
... just didn't happen.
"a women [sic] whose life portrayed in pixels could never overcome or outperform her past try as she might"?
Offensive terminology aside, this is not writing by good writers.
@whizz_dumb I don't know, but I love the idea of THIS as sex chat: "Darling, just lie there and remain aroused while I put one of these cotton balls that I brought with me into each finger of this latex glove I also brought with me. Shan't be long!"
this isn't funny at all. the fact that the bottom part of the comments has gone MASSIVE on my screen (is this some strange result of people messing with font sizes? is that possible?) is kind of funny though.
I'm really grateful for all the arguments and thoughts on here. But I have to say mind's a bit blown by how much vengeful talk and belief in evil has surfaced. Ann was absolutely the victim here, and her voice wasn't heard because it couldn't be, and words were put in her mouth by her father for reasons of his own. Yes. But trying to comprehend and work constructively with perpetrators isn't coddling 'evildoers', or betraying victims; it's trying to make a better future, and fewer future victims. Isn't it??
@geek_tragedy It's everyone's job, yes, I was just using feminism as a context because it's the broad context of this site, and because I think this is a very important issue for feminists to discuss. But I include men in "feminism". I include everyone. Call it "people" or "decent people" if you prefer! And I do think abusers should be addressed with similar urgency as victims, yes, ABSOLUTELY. Why not? I want them to stop doing what they're doing. As I say, it isn't a choice where you only have a certain amount of compassion to give and have to elect where it goes. We can aid the victims, and try to understand and help the perpetrators too. Dealing with the people who makes you angriest with compassion and an effort to understand is hugely difficult, but isn't it the only way things can change?
@sintaxis It's not a choice in that way. Why can't we sympathise with both, in the interests of help, rehabilitation, prevention, and not just throwing-away-the-key? There IS another side to why people do horrible things, and what made him the way he is IS integral to the story.
@Mira I think he should be in prison for a really long time (as he is). I find the parents' response hard to fathom, especially in its swiftness, which seems to me like evidence of trauma. But I do not believe in evil and I think abusers must be regarded as victims too, and in need of help, if any progress is to be made. Feminists need to address what the patriarchy tells young men as well as what it tells young women.
@itiresias I don't know that anyone's saying that it's all good... or that the description of the fight gives any impression that Ann was a shrew. I am not defending him murdering her, IN ANY WAY, and I do think the article rather downplays what he did. But a boy who has witnessed violence at home and has access to a gun and loses the plot and does something that awful is a victim too. Way less of one, but still one. Unless you believe that deliberate evil choices, rather than profound damage and terrible mistakes, create criminals.
@charmcity Yes, I agree. Hard not to wonder if their faith made them a bit starrily blinded to what might have been going on. Although I don't especially want to take it as read that she was a cowed and terrified victim the whole time, either, because that's also an assumption she can't answer to.