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On The Opposite of Online

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I can TRY to tone it down, I just get really excited about outer space.

Posted on March 5, 2012 at 10:39 am 0

On The Opposite of Online

Thank You for linking to my application! I so very desperately want to go into space! You can vote every day! SIGTVFMTGTSOIGTCYFT! Not a threat! An inside joke puzzle! I'm non-violent! Are you afraid of Heights? G Forces? Re-Entry into the Atmosphere? Vote for someone who is none of those things! (Me!)

Posted on March 5, 2012 at 10:25 am 1

On The Power Eye Patch

Breaking News: For those of us who still go to hairpin.com instead of THEhairpin.com ... The former domain is now for sale! Can we like all chip in or something?

Posted on May 16, 2011 at 9:29 am 0

On Women Share Breakfast Spaghetti on the Subway

Current debate amongst my friends over e-mail. "Is this a waste of spaghetti?"

Posted on March 18, 2011 at 11:51 am 0

On The God-Hates-Japan Girl Comes Clean

Ah - Thank You. Do you think since they had her address and phone number its also possible people just sent her a lot of pizzas? Maybe I should get into the trolling biz.

Posted on March 15, 2011 at 10:33 am 0

On The God-Hates-Japan Girl Comes Clean

She's "Tired of eating pizza"? Is that an internet thing? Or just she's just tangentially tired of eating pizza? Is that a thing? Who could get tired of eating pizza? Unless she means like physically exhausted from eating slice after slice after slice.

Posted on March 15, 2011 at 10:27 am 0

On National Geographic's Magical Infinite Photo Thing Is Messing With My Head

Why couldn't the dogs and cats go into the extra room? They just ran right through the wall to the outside! Terrifying.

Posted on March 3, 2011 at 10:26 am 0

On National Geographic's Magical Infinite Photo Thing Is Messing With My Head

I borrowed House of Leaves from the library, lost it, paid an extremely large fine, later found it, lost it again, and then bought it from a bookstore. It currently sits on my shelf collecting dust with no less than 3 bookmarks in it.

Has ANYONE ever finished that book? Is there a reward? Like do the list of building materials in the extra rooms ever pay off? Footnotes!

Posted on March 2, 2011 at 3:36 pm 0

On The Tiniest Microhouse

That "Tiny House" wasn't made into a real show is the largest missed opportunity in the history of branded entertainment. The failure of "Cavemen" built on the GEICO cavemen ads likely put the nail in the coffin forever, but the operating budget of Tiny House would have been much lower and could have survived on cable (HGTV, DIY) for two or three seasons.

It would have been "Awesome"

Posted on February 24, 2011 at 4:19 pm 0

On The Poetry of Holiday Weight Loss Advice

Last year at my Christmas party I went to put all (48 or so) pigs in blankets in the oven but I dropped the tray and they all fell on the floor. This was mid-party so the floor was already pretty dirty. Let's face it the floor didn't start that clean.

Long story short, the reason to invite only close friends to a X-mas party is because they will talk you into heating them up anyway. They taste the same.

Posted on December 21, 2010 at 7:56 pm 0