ETA: So sorry if you weren't actually looking for advice, just a chance to commiserate!
I'm sorry your partners' lameness. :\
Can I ask why you're doing the celibate-until-marriage path? Among my college friends, it usually meant that there were a lot of values and attitudes towards what sex is and what it means that go with that choice, and finding even a not-celibate partner with similar values might help. (Of course, we all have such values but it seems like only the have-lots-of-sex-ers and the wait-for-the-sex-ers ever get pressed to articulate them. As a lots-of-sex-haver, I'd actually be really interested to have a friendly, respectful conversation about this, although I don't know that the internet will be a friend.)
The other question is how old are you? Maturing peers really do get better about weighing the "awesome you-ness" versus sexy times equation more compassionately.
@Sgt. Exposition @hedgehogerie
I think everyone has some good points, but I'm on the side of completely cutting off the relationship as being too harsh. I think there's a middle ground of limit-setting that has to come before the complete shut-down, lest the afore-mentioned festering. That said, it's not up to me to determine what the timeline for all of this is.
And I think Queer Chick's advice about how acceptance doesn't come magically out of the clouds, it has to be worked towards is very, very good.
@she came in through the bathroom window
Isn't that basically the plot of Homeland season 1?
I'm definitely intrigued by this idea, although I'm a little concerned that it will come out crazy-sugary. Do you tweak it, or is it better as-is?
@apples and oranges
I think part of the problem is that breakfast has held out as our last guardian of blandness. No garlic, no spiciness, no big punches of umami (except in the form of breakfast meats, but that's another story). Just: eggs, oats, cereal grains: no wonder everything on the breakfast menu turns into a sugar-fest.
Case in point: I find a plain fried egg almost gag-inducing to eat. A bowl of garlicky refried black beans and broccoli, topped with a runny fried egg and soy sauce? AMAZEBALLS. In short, unless you're a person who can only handle blandness in the mornings, I also support throwing out the breakfast book and just making whatever you want.
On "The Logic of Stupid Poor People," Or, the Only Thing Worth Reading About the Barneys "Shopping While Black" Arrests
Oh Dear God, yes. That episode is spot-on, isn't it?
This feels like the first time I re-watched Newsies after reached adulthood and realized it's the most pro-labor movie I've ever seen... and it was made by Disney
I'm not currently taking my own advice, but the simplest seems to be: disable the snooze button.
I used to have a snooze-free alarm, which I paired with watching hulu/netflix on my computer still in-bed in the mornings before rising and dressing. This worked really well for me, until I gained a bed-partner. (I was known to sleep through the alarm for fifty minutes at a time in the winter; I've learned that I really, really can't wake up before sunrise.)
Now, hitting the snooze button ASAP feels like a necessary courtesy. I don't know how to navigate this successfully.
I think that on a systematic, media-driven level, this is absolutely true. However, I didn't feel overly struck by my "stop turning women into baby-tubes" instincts when reading this sweet piece. (Although I also think it's an understandable reaction to it.)
For me, this piece fits into the same category of "we can be sad about our own abortions and/or miscarraiges and still fight tooth-and-nail to let every woman choose for herself." We can argue that motherhood isn't 100% transformative and myths promoting that notion are damaging and also pay respect to the changes that do occur in ourselves and our loved ones.
I'm also super-sorry to hear about this, it sounds super-scary. I've never been in your situation, but I've heard that Al-Anon or other groups for family members of troubled drinkers can be helpful. Even if the AA way is not the one for you/your family, even if you only go to a meeting once, it might be helpful just to talk to other people in your situation.
I hope things look better for your family, and don't be afraid to take care of yourself as well.