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On Notes From A Future Shitbag Mother

As certain as I am that I do not want kids (the list of reasons is endless and overlaps with some of your thoughts!), I have often wondered what kind of mother I'd be and think it'd be interesting to see how a child of mine would turn out. Of course, having a kid because of that guinea-pig-curiousity is actually just another reason why I shouldn't!

Posted on September 17, 2014 at 4:15 pm 2

On A Conversation Amongst Me, Taylor Swift, and Langston Hughes, About Being 22

so amazing

Posted on September 9, 2014 at 3:31 pm 0

On A Scenic Guide to Your Abnormal Pap Smear

Ahhh!!! I have had so many abnormal paps. And then I've had biopsies, and HOLY SHIT THEY HURT and I always pass out afterwards. But pro tip: coughing as they snip off your cervix helps with the pain (I swear). So anyway what I was told is that being a smoker can lead to abnormal paps - I used to be a heavy constant over a pack a day smoker and I was also having lots of sex at the time but once I quit smoking the paps stopped being abnormal. Either, the HPV cleared or smoking really lead to a false positive. Anyway I do want to get Gardasil but I ain't sweating it anymore because my last few paps have all been fine. /storytime

Posted on January 17, 2012 at 1:42 pm 0

On Old Pictures, Clownish Makeup, and the Unexplained Breakup

THIS DUDE IS GREAT!

Posted on January 9, 2012 at 2:13 pm 0

On Finance 101: Shoebox Savings and Baby Bonds

I have an American Express savings account and it's no fee and "high" interest (they claim it's high interest, I have very little money in there so it's not like I'm seeing any return) and there's no minimum balance! woo

Posted on January 5, 2012 at 5:12 pm 0

On The League of Ordinary Ladies: Girl What's Your Thing

I have a few Things:
1 - the sound made by a roll of packing tape when you're using a tape gun and it reaches the end of the roll of tape but some of the cardboard is torn off the cardboard roll with the remaining tape - it is seriously terrifying and makes me want to puke
2 - the smell of cigarettes on other people. I used to smoke! but when someone walks by you or worse, sits at the desk in front of you at work, and you can smell their cigarette on them after they have finished smoking it, ew, gag
3 - Sometimes but not all the times I freak out when clean clothes touch dirty clothes and then the clean clothes become dirty and I won't wear them because they're dirty but despite this I have no problem re-wearing clothes without washing them as long as they seem clean/don't smell/haven't touched legitimately dirty clothes

Posted on December 20, 2011 at 6:00 pm 0

On The League of Ordinary Ladies: Girl What's Your Thing

@sarabara YES I CAN'T HANDLE IT EITHER GOD!

Posted on December 20, 2011 at 5:41 pm 1

On The League of Ordinary Ladies: Girl What's Your Thing

@feartie I hate the sound of noise from other places. Like, the faint hum of a TV that is in a different room - I CANNOT STAND IT. Growing up, my bedroom was behind the living room, and I could hear the TV from the living room while I was trying to sleep - just white noise, essentially, but it coming from the TV from the other room would drive me to temper tantrums.

Posted on December 20, 2011 at 5:28 pm 0

On Holiday Gift Guide for Me, 1997 (Age 10)

@Xaxa I made my dad eat happy meals for lunch until I had all the McDonalds beanie babies. I also have no idea where they are currently.

Posted on December 15, 2011 at 2:50 pm 0

On Go Halfsies On ... The Beauty Product

@teebs No seriously you can return ANYTHING to sephora. I've returned half used exfoliator and perfume that I purchased over a year ago. I've never had a hard time with it (got store credit in exchange for the perfume, which, fair enough) but I have a reply ready in case they try to give me a hard time, which is, that I buy ALL my skincare and makeup there BECAUSE of their generous return policy so why would you be giving me a hard time?

Posted on December 12, 2011 at 5:45 pm 0