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On More Lego Friend Scenarios

Interior of a shabby Upton's dressing room, with a red-faced and teary-eyed adolescent Lego surrounded by heaps of tiny Lego training bras which she is unable to properly reattach to their tiny Lego hangers. For some reason she has removed her shoes.

Posted on March 4, 2013 at 3:32 pm 8

On What Your Bag Says About You

A SkipHop diaper bag that I got for $4 at a yard sale. As a bonus, it came with a mini tube of aquaphor and some antifungal cream still tucked in one of it's 47 pockets! Before I had a baby, it was option A. The best thing about having a baby might be that now my purse always has wetwipes in it.

Posted on February 4, 2013 at 9:34 pm 2

On That Baby Wants to Break You Up

One of the mantras in our household since Baby Valentine was born is: "the baby almost always survives; the marriage very often doesn't." We tell ourselves this so we don't spend all our energy trying to care for the baby and not leave any for each other. I can't say we always remember it, because the baby screams his demands in a way that the relationship doesn't. But still. I feel like, in many cases, one of the worst things you can do to your kid is to get a divorce, so taking care of the relationship is more important than, say, getting the right kind of organic milk, or what kind of diapers you use, or even breastfeeding.

Posted on January 23, 2013 at 12:03 pm 3

On Six Guaranteed Low-Effort Toddler Games

Mr Valentine and I have a young toddler (18 mos) and have found the best way to keep him simultaneously entertained and contained is putting him in a suitcase (open, on the floor) and then dumping legos on him. There is something about being in the confined space that makes his play way longer than he otherwise would. Also we play "make a parade!" which is just lining up toys in the windowsill. When all else fails we put him in the bathtub. One of us has to be in there and watch him, but that person is allowed to drink an adult beverage while doing so.

Posted on January 18, 2013 at 12:49 pm 1

On "Scott Stapp in general."

@Scandyhoovian It's okay. I still like Stone Temple Pilots.

Posted on August 10, 2012 at 10:31 am 2

On "Scott Stapp in general."

@Scandyhoovian I was with you right up until Collective Soul.

Posted on August 10, 2012 at 10:09 am 2

On Ask a Clean Person: 'Pits, Revisited

@dale I totally had a crush on Bill Nye the Science Guy, which I later transferred to Ryan Stiles, and now it has moved on to the guy who plays "The Sun" in the Jimmy Dean Sausage commercials. I think I have a type.

Posted on July 26, 2012 at 3:58 pm 2

On Ask a Clean Person: Laundry School Commencement Exercises

I have recently learned (and successfully used!) a laundry tip that I feel is right up the ol' Clean Person Alley: If you accidentally run a disposable diaper through the washing machine with all your adorable baby's adorable baby clothes, and there is this incredibly gross blobby gel all over all the clothes and your washing machine, all you have to do is put salt (SALT!) in the washer and run them again. They will be fine.

Posted on May 31, 2012 at 3:24 pm 0

On Really Good Books About First Ladies: Part One

@Decca I have always wondered if your Hairpin Name was a Mitford reference. Now I know. Mmmmmmmmmitford. Sigh.

Posted on May 29, 2012 at 8:38 pm 0

On So You Barfed in Your Copy of Jolie Kerr's My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag

Not only is this great news because I can buy a copy (ok, many copies), but it also vindicates me for all the dinnertime convos in which I have told Mr. Valentine that Jolie should totally have a book contract!

Posted on May 18, 2012 at 9:57 am 1