"This is all according to the New York Times, of course, and who knows more about sex than them?"
And, of course, who knows better about women's orgasms than Jim Berhle? Thanks so much for this long-winded proof that you're A Nice Guy.
@mollpants No, but abortion is a difficult choice. It doesn't mean it's regrettable and it doesn't always carry an astounding amount of emotional weight but at it's best it's still a very private and very serious decision. I do think we have to acknowledge that it is not something undertaken lightly in ways that I don't really think have much to do with stigma. And I think you're right we do have to de-stigmatize but we also have to find a way to do that without minimizing other women's experiences.
@lovingskyfairy You're a coward and a miserable person. SEW is a kind, loving person. I think you already know that though since you seem to know so much about her life. Your attack was obviously stemming from something else. Be a woman and say what you need to say to SEW with your real name.
@lovingskyfairy You need to fucking leave now.
@lovingskyfairy I think it's pretty clear that you just lost the internet, frankly. That was an astoundingly hateful thing to say.
I hope that, someday, when you're sitting alone some quiet Tuesday night, you think about what you just said, and realize what it means about your character, and who you are. Because it certainly doesn't reflect anything about S. Elizabeth.
@lovingskyfairy... ... ... ... that was so mean, I caught my breath a little. And being mean the internet is not, actually, how you win. Whatever it is you win on the internet.
And *even if SEW* is being cruel, which I don't actually think she is, return meanness is not actually a winning strategy at being a human person in any arena.
But I guess it's good to know you have the skills? Or something.
@mirah I don't know. I'm seeing some anger and pettiness, but also some very good critiques on the subject, story, and the writing. It's hard for me to imagine that the writer didn't experience equally scathing and nerve-wracking critiques in creative writing programs in grad and undergrad.
I (like so many others) read all of these comments and now feel a little queasy. I also took serious issue with several aspects of the essay, glibness and stylistic glitches among them, but I'm going to avoid jumping on the HateTrain (tough though that is). I will say that if you're gonna publish a personal essay online, prepare yourself for the reactions, positive and negative. That is all.
By Veronica Mars is smarter than me on How My Obsession With Furnishing A Future Put Me Nearly $40,000 In Debt
Eugh. Okay, look.
A lot of the comments have been perceived as personal attacks on the author. Which, I mean, the version of herself that she paints here? Not likable! Sure, she made a lot of very poor decisions as a young adult, and I cringed as I read about them; but they weren't the real reason I felt animosity towards the (imagined) author. Throwing in fleeting thoughts on the love of a good man because [who knows]? Treating what are honestly very commonplace growing pains as celebrated, insightful revelations? Inserting the murder stuff that is clearly an integral part of her young adult experience (clear from the comments/her other writing, NOT from this essay) in an awkward manner, seemingly as an afterthought, as a diversion from the judgment of her readers? Describing "dusty riverbed trailer parks" to paint a bleak picture of home, when she has made it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR to her audience that she didn't come from those trailer parks? These aspects of the essay make it hard for a reader to identify with the narrator, however close or far she may be from the real-life woman who wrote her.
But that's not the point.
The point is that the piece really needs to be edited/proofed; that the essay reads like a second draft, not a final product, and shouldn't have been published as such.
The point is that the title, especially to a Hairpin audience, sets audience expectations counter to the attitude and subject matter actually found in this essay; that it sets the reader up for disappointment and anger when she expects a real but light-hearted "LOL DEBT" piece and instead finds a sincere almost-defense of extravagant and undiscriminating spending.
The point is that there's no focus, no lesson, no conclusion to this piece.
The point is that this author self-identifies as a writer, and she chose to write and publish this essay.
Obviously it is hard for an artist to separate herself from her work, especially when the work is of a personal nature, like this essay is. But if the author is going to put her work out there for everyone to see, she has to let it go. The world is full of people with different opinions, different backgrounds, different circumstances; different personal interpretations of her words. This essay doesn't belong to the author anymore, it belongs to the world. Writers have to accept that, to let their work go, in order to have any hope of (emotional) survival in their field.
My darling child. The tale you continue to spin for yourself is glittering and beautifully rationalized. One day, I hope, I truly hope you can see the myopia of it all. I hope you grow and learn. And manage to make your world so much larger and more fulfilled than a perfectly proportioned faux tree.
I felt my hackles rise, reading about your blithe indifference; jealous and spiteful of your waste and carelessness. But as I read to the end, I realized you are, in fact, simply still very young. And there is very little sense in envying or hating the young for their youth or the privileged for their opportunity.
You may have ended this piece, but you don't really have a conclusion. Maybe in ten years or twenty or forty, you'll have the grace and opportunity to revisit, reflect and rewrite about waste and debt and perfection and grief and hopefully, wisdom.