@Slutface Well, I can see how a lot of it would apply to any first date situation, but the title of the piece is in fact "How to Behave on Your Online Date".
@whizz_dumb I wish that more guys would do this! On many of the first dates I've been on, the dude will start a tab (and sometimes he will have gotten there first, ordered his first drink, and started a tab before I arrive), which makes it harder/more awkward for me to buy a round/chip in...which I would like to do because I'm not that comfortable with the dude buying ALL the drinks!
@ColdFinger I also did not find the tone of this to be judgmental at all! And I'm a fairly experienced online dater. I thought it was funny! There is also the fact that I've often actively wondered what bartenders think about the many online dates that unfold before them, so...relevant to my interests, I guess.
She also goes out of her way to say that she thinks all online daters are brave: "I’m too cowardly to meet someone online. Consequently, I view all of you with great respect and awe, as I would a surgeon, Navy Seal, or vegan." A good reminder that instead of feeling self-conscious, we should all be patting ourselves on the back for our senses of adventure!
@RNL Yeah, that's good advice and I'm trying to remind myself of that. The rational part of me recognizes that I've known this guy for all of four weeks; I don't really know what kind of a person he is or what might be going on in his life. And he did seem pretty consumed and stressed out by his job. I don't want to give up on online dating (because I want to meet someone), but I know that I need to start approaching it in a less emotional way, because right now I feel like it's doing a number on my self esteem!
@Puppy in a cup Thank you for the Internet-hugs! :) I am excited to have joined the commenting realm. And yeah, I am hoping that perhaps it will turn into another opportunity in the future. You're also right that I have no way of knowing that it would actually have been a dream job (and that probably no job is really a dream job). Part of the reason I was so excited about it was that the team of people I would have been working with seemed really great. In my current job, I don't really have a team--it's really just me and my boss, and he's a 50 year-old man. I've been feeling really isolated at work and would so love to have a job that involves more interaction with people closer to my own age. But I'm hoping that being able to hang out here occasionally during the work day will help at least a little bit with that!
@frigwiggin I feel you. I have also been procrastinating about finding a therapist for way too long; I don't even know why. I finally got myself to make a couple of phone calls on Friday and now I have an appointment for this week. I feel a little better just knowing that at least for one hour I will have a paid/trained someone to unload some of my current depressed-nes on without having to feel like I am burdening my friends with all my same old shit. Yay for therapy.
@mustelid I second the American Visionary Art Museum! I went there on a visit to Baltimore last year and thought it was AMAZING. Very inspiring & one-of-a-kind place.
Very long-time lurker here, finally commenting on a Saturday night (wooooo) because the pin is such a comforting place for me and you guys all seem so darn lovely...and I've had a TERRIBLE week. Probably my first comment should not be a big weepy woe-is-me rant, but here it comes anyway:
- Instead of being offered the awesome job I was super excited about, after two months and four interviews and being told I was the top candidate...I was informed that the higher-ups had suddenly decided not to hire anyone (because of budgetary and other concerns they were a bit vague on). I have a good job now, and I'm grateful for that, but it's super unrewarding and this would have been a dream-job type of situation. So so disappointed, especially since interesting jobs in my field are REALLY few and far between.
- Similarly, things seemed to be progressing quite well with an okcupid dude I was feeling pretty in to. 4th date was last weekend. Texted him a couple of days later; RADIO SILENCE. Definitely not the first time this has happened to me :( Why do guys do this? Am back to feeling that I WILL BE ALONE FOREVER feeling.
I could meet up with some friends for drinks tonight, but I'm feeling so bummed out, it's hard to get motivated to leave the house (I haven't so far today). UGH.
@Nicole Cliffe YES. This is a really damn good way of putting it.
Loved it loved it loved it.