On This Summer: Stop Buying $5 Iced Coffees

This whole time I thought sun tea was when you pee into a bottle!

Posted on May 31, 2013 at 2:47 pm 3

On Cronuts Are Like Donuts Only You Wait in Line For Them

It does look delicious, buuuuuut....I mean, a lot of pastries are delicious. And a lot of bakeries are good. I never understand this snooty thing where people think there are only a few truly acceptable eateries in a given city and that if you can't manage to get in, you're DOOMED and it's NO LUNCH FOR YOU. Every block is lined with delicious places, fer chrissakes!

Posted on May 31, 2013 at 9:53 am 13

On The College Course on "Criminal"

I vaguely remember reading an interview last year describing how Fiona had put together this carefully cultivated set of songs for Tidal, and then the record company was like, "Yeeeeeeeah, but hows about giving us something easy to release as a single?" and so Fiona went back and basically pooped out "Criminal" in like 5 minutes. So there's also that possible interpretation of "Criminal." That it was pooped out in 5 minutes at the behest of a record company.

Posted on May 30, 2013 at 1:52 pm 4

On Before Too Long, Everyone You Know Will Be Named Emma

Someone, tell me a boy's name that is not Jayden-ish, and that is not too precious-sounding (no Tristans or Sebastians), and that doesn't sound like the name of a dude in a boy band (no Hunters), and that isn't likely to be the same name as a hundred other little boys in a kindergarten class 5 years from now (no Jacobs). An interesting, solid name that a man is not going to be unhappy walking around with for an 80-year lifespan.

I have 6 weeks left to name this fetus growing in me, and my husband and I still haven't come to a consensus yet.

Posted on May 29, 2013 at 11:18 am 3

On How to Behave on Your Online Date: A Bartender’s Perspective

@angelinha Same here. I'm kinda bewildered as to how so many people are finding this offensive.

Posted on May 21, 2013 at 10:06 am 3

On A Brief Introduction

@olivebee DO IT DO IT DO IT. There's been a hole in my soul without any Beauty Q&As.

Posted on May 15, 2013 at 1:20 pm 0

On First They Came for the Baggy Pants

There is NO age at which a bow tie will not make you look like an idiot. NO AGE. David Sedaris sums it up: “It was my friend Frank, a writer in San Francisco, who finally set me straight. When asked about my new look he put down his fork and stared at me for a few moments. 'A bow tie announces to the world you can no longer get an erection.'”

Posted on April 30, 2013 at 11:18 am 7

On Knocked Up, Knocking Back

@beatrixkiddo1 YEP. I'm also 29 weeks, and I haven't had anything to drink so far, mostly because it's not one tiny isolated glass of wine that I want; what I want is to GO GET TRASHED. And since I can't get trashed, I could really take or leave that tiny isolated glass of wine allowance.

Posted on April 23, 2013 at 2:17 pm 1

On Lies My Spam Folder Tells Me About Myself

The thing that always drives me nuts is, WHY DOES MY SPAM ALWAYS ASSUME THAT I'M A MAN? Everybody wants to talk to me about my erections and about the single ladies who want to meet me!

Posted on April 17, 2013 at 1:23 pm 6

On Ways You Can't Mess Up That "The Best Scones" Recipe Despite Trying

The way the other commenters feel about carob is the way I feel about SPLENDA. SPLENDA = FRUITS OF THE DEVIL. BLEEEEEEEEEEEH. Also, much volcanic activity in the digestive system after consuming Splenda.

Posted on April 12, 2013 at 2:35 pm 7