On The Best Time a Waiter Convinced Me to Not Get a Tattoo

@Eden That's exactly how I feel about my tattoo.

I also feel kind of badass that I have a tattoo sometimes (which negates any actual badassery I would have accumulated from it).

Posted on September 23, 2011 at 7:55 pm 0

On How to Catch a Hairball

@Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse Haha college is where I push hard for the hair on tile collage. I live with four other girls with long hair and none of us want to deal with cleaning anyone else's hair or spend money on Drano and the stick-your-hair-on-the-wall method works pretty well. The girl who messes up the system is the girl with blond hair. She claims she doesn't shed but its just because she can't see her practically white hair. I know about it because those transparent hairs lurk on the bottles in the shower and attack my hands like surprise spiderwebs when I grab the shampoo.

Posted on September 21, 2011 at 11:08 pm 0

On The Best Time I Found Out I Had HPV

The best time I found out I had HPV I was on my way to my very first class EVER in college. My doctor (on the other side of the country) called to let me know I had a high risk strain of HPV, but didn't give me any helpful "Lots of people get it; it usually goes away by itself, especially in 18 year olds, blahblahblah"-type information, just that it was "worrying" and I should get another Pap in 6 months. I don't really remember anything from that first class because I was a little to busy freaking out about how diseased I was.

Also, I then spent the rest of the semester watching all those ads for Gardasil (which I did actually get before the first time I had sex) that showed a woman dying of cancer because of HPV she'd gotten from her college boyfriend. Good times.

Posted on September 21, 2011 at 10:54 pm 0

On Marriage, the Word "Queer," and "Is My Boyfriend Gay?"

@cherrispryte Exactly. This is a normal and natural process. Pass me the goddamn Advil and let's get a move on.

Posted on September 20, 2011 at 2:16 pm 1