@Stacy Worst Yeah that 'dole' thing made me furrow my brows like wha?!
@Plexia I see what you're saying 100%, but I also read the disconnect here as something that fit with the rest of the confusion/misunderstanding/fucked-up-ness of the situation at large - she didn't understand anything about this person's family or where she was going, and all of these strong impressions and the way her expectations are thrown over add to the overall sense of displacement and dread. E.g. comparing the snow in Ireland to the snow in Wisconsin when she gets there, thinking she knows exactly what will happen and then finding out that things here function according to rules she's not even aware of. The observations about Ireland that she got "wrong" read less like assertions and more like little reflections of the disconnect that runs through the piece. (The only thing that gave me real pause was the thing about the dole, but again, I think it's the same - she thought this situation worked one way, and then the ground shifted.) That's how I read it, anyway.
@Plexia Same... and it's not as self-evident to me as it is/was for the author that $65k in the bank should disqualify a family of three for the dole ("Ireland's form of welfare").
Still, this really hit home for me.
Wow. I wish this story was a whole book. So ominous and claustrophobic and menacing.
Also, "Sam slept for the entire flight from Ireland back to Chicago, meaning I could hold his hand without him tugging it away." I had a boyfriend like this once, and now I wish I could go back in time and scream at myself for accepting this kind of treatment.
Thank you for sharing.
"Still, I couldn’t help but grow paranoid that the attraction wasn’t reciprocal."
That hit home for me; I was in a relationship once where just received enough feedback to keep going, just barely. The paranoia that builds inside of you when your partner can't figure out what they want. They think they want someone, but it isn't necessarily you or the next person, but how are you supposed to know? I'm glad it's over and that I'm seeing someone who is much more in tune with their mental health.
Gah I hate to say this because I liked the story so much, but I found the cultural bias in this story borderline offensive... Ireland doesn't have snow plows because it's super rural, the roads aren't straight and it snows for like a week every two years. And clothes hanging around in a damp house to dry is just what happens in the winter in old houses without dryers because no one has dryers. I don't know anyone with a dryer.
I solve this by saying "no" when I mean no.
Waaaay too many words!
Tell people *what you want* as concisely as possible: "Please extra blend my shake" and give them the respect to figure out themselves how to do it. Because the only thing more annoying than being micro-managed by a boss is being micro-managed by a customer.
Hey, Sarah! Long-time service person here. I'm going to suggest that your co-worker is probably assessing it right on this one. No need to explain how blenders work to the staff when asking for a shake of your preferred consistency. Just ask if you can get the shake of your choice, extra-blended, and you'll get what you want 85 to 90 percent of the time. You'll have it live with noticing the occasional eye roll. It will be worth tolerating in exchange for the lack of lumpy banana.
I love this comic. So perfectly illustrates That Crush.
I also love the Hairpin's new spam.
Prophets, witch doctors, shamans > friend's moms making 80,000/yr working from home.