"Obviously it doesn’t work that way. This is a thought experiment. No one’s going to shrink your penis and give you a girlfriend."
I love you, and cannot stand people who refuse to answer hypothetical questions.
In the grand tradition of using academia to prove anything you feel like, and because hooray for queer subtextual representation, I love this piece, thanks Ester.
@frigwiggin But it's all worth it when you look into those enormous, enormous, mill-wheel eyes and feel the warm glow of knowing you're a safe distance away.
@codi_cathleen Oh, thank goodness, that does make more sense.
@Slutface On the same note, "Jennifer also avoids showering until their date nights." Showering? Surely that's a typo for shaving, right? Surely?
@meetapossum Try using frozen grapes instead; they won't melt and water down your wine and then you can eat them!
@Quinn A@twitter Likewise. Maybe a cross-stitched pillow with "my sexuality is not about you" on it for Christmas.
Favourite column. Love it all.
@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) We didn't have soft drinks, white bread, crisps that had MSG in, stuff with lots of food colouring, processed lunchable-type-things, or burgers that weren't made of pistachios growing up. Going to other kids' birthday parties was like a glimpse into another world. (Note: neither my brother or I became serial killers, we were not bullied about our healthy-ish packed lunches, and I still became fat, so clearly none of this was a big deal).
Very interesting, thank you.