@Ragged But Right YES on the "taking up space in your life" thing. I had a similar situation way back when with a guy I dated for a little while, then stopped dating but was still hanging out with all the time. I wasn't in love with him, at all, but he filled the space in my life of someone to do stuff with, talk to, hang out with all the time, etc. So much so that it was really upsetting/traumatizing for me when he got a girlfriend that he instantly cemented the relationship with (and is now married to), which was a mindfuck for me given that *I didn't even have feelings of love for him at all*. But my hanging out with him was preventing me from having the energy to meet someone I actually was into, who actually was into me. I mean, it's just easier to hang with someone you already know and like than have to suffer through being alone. Easier in the short run, but way worse in the long run, because you just stay stuck, and ultimately are still alone, while you have to watch him twittering around and being happy/obnoxious with his new Perfect Love (TM). It just sucks a lot either way, but overall I think cutting the cord soonest is the only thing to be done. ESPECIALLY if you have the love-feelings, gah.
@thebestjasmine I agree, and also think we should change that law. I'm pretty sick of subsidizing The Marrieds, especially since they all seem to do it multiple times, with multiple people.
@TheBelleWitch To me, having a house and kids is WAY more committed than being married? It's super easy to get un-married, but really hard to get rid of kids.
@annev6 Because you don't believe in it? Why is that not a valid reason for not doing something?
@swirrlygrrl I agree, I thought Dude's answer was very dismissive of people who don't believe in marriage. I interpreted the guy in the letter as being, like, "I don't believe in marriage, BUT I know it is so important to you that I would be willing to do it anyway." Which, to me, says he's super committed, so committed in fact that he would compromise his personal beliefs to be with the LW. Not that he's "keeping his options open." Am I crazy?
@leon s Oh no, now I'm forced to contemplate what Philly cheesesteaks are actually made of.
@whizz_dumb I want more horse picket signs!!
Don't worry, in about a month most US food inspectors will be furloughed, so if there's monkey in your meat you'll probably never find out about it.
@Barry Grant Yep, "emergency contact" is maybe my primary reason for wanting to be in a relationship. My emergency contact is currently my mom. :/ And she lives in another state. So I guess I'll just die quietly, with minimal fuss...
@victorian rose Why is there a review site for prostitutes and not one for online daters?? We need to fix this.