I'm a 26-year-old virgin. I've never had a boyfriend. I've only kissed one person, a stranger, drunk at a bar. I missed out completely on teenage fumbling, college experimentation, post-college mastery, etc. Now, here I am in my late twenties, having led a mostly sexless existence (I say mostly because, despite my lack of partnered experience, I'm really good at getting myself off. Thank god). Thing is, I think I might have a chance to mess around with a dude in the near future. I like a guy, I know he likes me back, we live in different places, but we'll be in the same place soon.
Much to my own disgust, I am a 16-year-old virgin. I do, however, have this person of the opposite gender with whom I makeout on weekends and at parties (and tactlessly ignore out of awkwardness at school). So yesterday, we were hooking up naked in the backseat of his car and he was fingering me. And, in the midst of his heavy breathing and inept poking, I had an amazing epiphany: I had no idea if I was actually enjoying myself. I have never had an orgasm, have no idea how to masturbate (despite pathetic attempts) and have really no inkling of how my own sexuality works. I don’t [...]
Picture it: London. 1624. You got a little carried away with John Donne, who recited “The Flea” at you until you succumbed. But! Your wedding to a cheese merchant is in a week. He expects you to stain the sheets. What do you do?
You dive into the market for born-again virgins, that's what. Hymenorraphy! How to bleed with sex, even if it's not your first time. If you were a 1620s woman, your Cosmo subscription wouldn't tell you to gird your DH's loins with scrunchies or doughnuts. It wouldn't tell you What Guys Wish You Knew. Instead of offering 75 Crazy-Hot Sex Moves, it would lure you with 101 [...]