Hairpin pal Amy Rose Spiegel tweeted out this article sometime this weekend and I can't stop thinking about it—it's about Chop Suey, the 1995 video game aimed at girls 7-to-12. It's got everything—the vocal talents of a yet-unknown David Sedaris, who's voice is so high-pitched and goofy that's it hard to know whether or not to take him seriously, a devotion to X-Ray specs, and three sequential husbands named Bob. I'd never played it as a kid, but I so deeply wish I did—even now, I was drawn instantly to its casual, colorful aesthetic, done by Monica Lynn Gesue. The game never really took off, and, [...]
Porpentine lives in Oakland and makes games about, among other things, “pop star Ke$ha against trans-dimensional haters.” You can try them out here, some in this very browser*. She also writes a weekly roundup of free games for Rock, Paper, Shotgun.
I decided to interview Porpentine over chat. (This meant it took about 57 hours, and she may never do an interview ever again: sorry, Porpentine and journalism.) We talked about bodies, women’s work, jet ski depiction, violent business sim memoir, and we insulted fruit. I’d call it a text adventure, except, that’s not right at all**, because Porpentine is the human, and I’m [...]
Twenty years ago, people talked about Myst the same way they talked about The Sopranos during its first season: as one of those rare works that irrevocably changed its medium. It certainly felt like nothing in gaming would or could be the same after it. If you remember the game, you remember that feeling of landing on Myst Island for the first time, staggeringly bereft of information in a way that felt like some kind of reverse epiphany, left with no option but to start exploring. This was a revolutionary feeling to have while staring at your PC screen. And the word-of-mouth carried — people who had never gamed before in their lives bought [...]
There is no definitive account of that day in September 1983 when the trucks brought the Atari haul here, just versions that seem to feed on one another, changing slightly as they travel from one online forum to the next, as in a virtual game of telephone.
One story put the number of trucks at 20. Others say there were 10 or 14. Mr. Lewandowski recalled last week that 29 trucks had left Atari’s plant in El Paso, Tex., just over the border from New Mexico, and that 9 had made it to the landfill.
“The other 20,” he said, “no one knows what happened.”
There is a lingering [...]
INTRO You play pop star Katy Perry embarking on a tropical, candy-coated journey of fun! After waking up in a cloud of cotton candy, Snoop Dog informs you of your mission. You must save a group of California Gurlz who are being held in a blood-soaked chamber at the hands of a torturer named Pyramid Head. In this level you must figure out how to get off the cloud!
KISS HELL After descending from the cloud, you find yourself at Warped Tour. You must make out with hundreds of girls in order to leave the concert venue. Except the girls are, like, really hot and you’re, like, totally straight. [...]
What are good breakfast recipes you have for someone who deeply despises the taste of egg? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, as they say.
The idea that breakfast is the most important meal is, I think, largely due to propaganda by the cereal industry. Why can’t the most important meal of the day be afternoon tea, or lunch? Or a burrito that you eat in bed at 3 a.m. while hate-watching the worst of Netflix? But that said, yes, breakfast is important! There is also something so intensely personal about breakfast; it’s the least performative meal, I think, the meal that is the most in tune [...]
One thing users can't do in GTA V? Play as a female character. The game doesn’t feature any playable women, Rockstar Games co-founder and VP of creativity Dan Houser said, because "the concept of being masculine was so key to this story," just like it has apparently been key to every previous GTA installment.
It's frustrating, to say the least, that a vanguard company like Rockstar Games brushes off the idea of allowing for female leads with statements like Houser's. While it's not an outright "fuck you" to female gamers, it's a pretty implicit one. The decision to have three characters allows for what Houser calls "nuanced stories, not [...]
"How Do You Do It?" is a game that was made for you to revert to your eight-year-old perverted self. You wait for mom to leave on an errand, you go to your Barbie and your Ken doll, and you reenact the scene from Titanic by smashing pieces of plastic together. Oh, you never did this as a kid? You're lying. (NSFW, probably, because that would be weird for you, to get caught making dolls have sex at work, I think. So really, nothing has changed; we are all still eight-year-old weirdos.) [Nina's Games]
I am a chronic late gamer. I don't know why I do it (maybe some sort of contrary reaction to the update-your-personal-blog-with-detailed-review-the-day-after-the-midnight-release zeitgeist?), but even in the case of games I purchase for full price upon release, I tend to play the intro, turn the game off for the night, and then fail to return to it for about half a year, at which time I actually get into playing it and wonder why I neglected it for so long. True to form, I followed this pattern with Resident Evil 6—bought it, started playing, died horribly when I botched a quick time event, turned my Xbox off, and didn't think [...]