N.B.: My beloved UPS Man is very good at his job and represents his company very well and he brings me things and I love him.
I have a very special, very intense, very secret, very unrequited and ongoing relationship with the very attractive UPS Man who brings me packages nearly every day. I love UPS Man most during the spring and summer when he wears his brown polyester shorts and he speeds up the hill toward my building, music blaring—often classic rock. When he steps out, his thigh muscles flex and I think, “What can brown do for you?”
I have many answers to that question. Most of said [...]