The first thing to go is the caring. You used to care so hard about everything. You cared about what other people thought of you, and you cared about your resume, and you cared about your health and your apartment and your future. But now it feels like the person who cared about those things was some other person. You didn’t realize that caring was like gasoline, that you could empty the tank and, without the positive reinforcement something like employment provides, be unable to refill it. You are all out of caring.
You have replaced caring with a new feeling. That fuck everyone feeling. Everything is horrible. Your metaphorical [...]
This will make you feel absolutely terrible but at the end you get a chance to feel a little bit better, I promise.
When people ask you what you’d want to be doing in an ideal world, yell, “Space cowboy!” Whisper, “Obstetrician.”
Use your days to browse seven-dollar DVDs at Duane Reade. To organize Skittles by color on your kitchen table. To write Mars, Inc. a letter entitled: “Why So Few Purples?” To Photoshop bangs onto your forehead. To wonder when you say “pineapple peanut” aloud, if anyone else in the world is saying “pineapple peanut” at the exact same moment.
Go to a dinner party where you only vaguely know someone. When people there ask how your job is going, say “It is the best!” with an exclamation mark at the [...]