Having recently found myself involuntarily jobless, I had a lot of time on my hands. And I discovered that I was filling that time in new and unusual ways that made me ask questions like, "hey, is this something a depressed person does? Or is this just unemployment?" So I created a game, because obviously. For fun, divide these behaviors into two categories, depression or unemployment – or just go lay facedown on the floor. You don't owe anyone anything! No one is paying for your time!
"In a 1993 Newsweek poll, 80% of parents with young children said children should be financially independent from their parents by the age of 22. Today, only 67% of parents hold that view. Three-in-ten (31%) of today’s parents say children shouldn’t have to be on their own financially until age 25 or later." —The Pew Research Center published a bunch of statistics yesterday on young adults in America. If you read that and immediately thought of Charlize Theron and then went "Wait, but she's South African. No, wait, that's a movie." then you're hopefully on the same page as the rest of us by the end of [...]
A new study found that it's better for your mental health to be unemployed than to work at a job that you hate. That means you can all quit your horrible jobs and live happily ever after on a beach somewhere, right?! Not so fast… You see this other study just discovered that happy people die earlier than miserable people — and people who work harder and for more years also live longest. So, I guess science has left us with two uplifting options: you can either quit your job and leave this mortal coil before you get to experience the thrill of dentures and [...]
The first thing to go is the caring. You used to care so hard about everything. You cared about what other people thought of you, and you cared about your resume, and you cared about your health and your apartment and your future. But now it feels like the person who cared about those things was some other person. You didn’t realize that caring was like gasoline, that you could empty the tank and, without the positive reinforcement something like employment provides, be unable to refill it. You are all out of caring.
You have replaced caring with a new feeling. That fuck everyone feeling. Everything is horrible. Your metaphorical [...]
This will make you feel absolutely terrible but at the end you get a chance to feel a little bit better, I promise.
When people ask you what you’d want to be doing in an ideal world, yell, “Space cowboy!” Whisper, “Obstetrician.”
Use your days to browse seven-dollar DVDs at Duane Reade. To organize Skittles by color on your kitchen table. To write Mars, Inc. a letter entitled: “Why So Few Purples?” To Photoshop bangs onto your forehead. To wonder when you say “pineapple peanut” aloud, if anyone else in the world is saying “pineapple peanut” at the exact same moment.
Go to a dinner party where you only vaguely know someone. When people there ask how your job is going, say “It is the best!” with an exclamation mark at the [...]