In September this year, I woke up to an excellent dick pic. I can remember it quite clearly: it was a low-lit shot of a firmly-erect penis straining sideways through boxers, and I was thrilled to receive it: it was subtle, it wasn’t unsolicited, and it was unusually sexy for a Snapchatted cock shot. It also changed the trajectory of my life. I don’t want to send anyone’s ego out of the stratosphere by saying that, but it’s not really an exaggeration: after I received that photo, invigorated and shot through with dopamine, I tweeted about how rare and encouraging it was to receive a decent dick pic. That sparked [...]
We made it! How was your Halloween? Did you bake a Pentagram Pie? Did you get any trick-or-treaters? Did you dress up your dog like an angel and then feel an intense sense of shame the next day? Did you encounter a handsome demon who only spoke in Jock Jams lyrics? Did it happen to be your birthday, and if so, do you feel gifted with second sight?
Tell us about all of this and more in the comments. Thank you for hanging out with us this week, in which:
Friends, we've done it once again. That's right. We have won the 1929 Girls Sports Day Tournament, and as we pose for our picture, let's reflect upon a week in which we:
The A.V. Club's reader Q&A is asking the important questions this week. "Yakety Sax" is suggested right up front, and I think that's about right: it would be impossible to exude the proper amount of copulins while listening to something so wacky. Also, certain strains of Dad Rock pose a real problem: "Old Time Rock & Roll," "Cat's in the Cradle," no way. National anthems and hymns would be difficult, oompah-type tuba parade tunes would be so bad, and Kidz Bop, nearly impossible. One writer's vision:
Sonia Saraiya: The correct answer to this question is “The Battle Hymn Of The Republic,” sung by a Southern Baptist congregation for [...]
How did you first realize that you had a big dick?
It was something that people had always kind of said to me. And for a long time I assumed it was just something women said to a man to flatter him, to be nice. But then I started sleeping with men sometimes, and my dick was always bigger. Also—how do I put this—there were circumstances with some people in which, mid-coitus, we would have to stop having sex because it was painful. Obviously that's not somebody trying to flatter you.
Are you comfortable stating your size?
I actually never measured it.
How can you have a penis your entire [...]
Today we say farewell to summer Fridays and hello to 5 p.m. Open Threads. How do we live, even? Anyway, this will catch you up on the week that was:
No, I’ve always been boy crazy! I just love boys. I think they’re so cute, and also so awful, they’re just the worst for you.
• We started to understand the bros. OK, not really.