Posts Tagged: sounds

What It Sounds Like Your Coworker's Eating: A Gchat Log

I can't tell if Eric is eating or drinking from the sound he's making

It sounds like Eric is chewing peanut butter and silly putty.

God Eric, sounds like oatmeal and tunafish.

Oh Eric, are you eating some cold cuts covered in chewing gum?

Oh Eric, are you eating an apple covered with hot fudge?

Oh Eric, are there 5 lbs of live minnows in your soda? So you're swallowing tiny swimming fish along with the beverage? Because that's what it sounds like.

Oh Eric, are you eating a combination of Jell-o and popcorn?

Eric is just eating saltwater taffy covered in honey. 


The Best Time I Got Hearing Aids at Age 32

When you’ve needed hearing aids all your life, and finally get them at the age of 32, mostly the world sounds like water. At first, you crane your neck looking for fountains, but really it’s only traffic. You keep an eye out for waterfalls, but apparently that’s just what air sounds like.

To celebrate, the first day you get your hearing aids, you go to the 540 club for a mimosa and you’re in awe because when you pay, you can hear the dollars rubbing against each other. You can hear your fingers brushing against your jeans. You tell the bartender this and he probably thinks you’re crazy, but he [...]