It was the night of my sister Kelly's 30th birthday party, and I was anxious. We’d encouraged guests to come in costume to fit the 1920s theme, and before anyone showed up, I helped my sister into the incredible flapper dress she’d found, beige with sheer paneling and sequins in all the right places. She set her black bob-cut wig and sparkling headband in place, swiped a bold rose color across her lips. I wanted Kelly to love the way she looked, because it was her party, but secretly all I could think about was if I’d look better: he was coming.
We'd been having sexless sleepovers for a [...]
This depressingly grim guide to un-alcoholifying the holidays does little to glamorize the life of the abstainer. For instance, "You don't need an open bar stocked with every kind of booze to be a great host. Just serve wine and beer, or one drink, like wine spritzers." Wine spritzers? Uh oh. Also, "reconsider one-stop shopping at the liquor store for hostess gifts … Instead, try mixed nuts [or] vegetables from your garden." Hmm. Oh and, "For years your family has sat around guzzling beer and watching football … Why not suggest a long walk among the leaves? Or a … group dance à la The Big Chill?" [...]