This is the latest installment of Chronic Gamer Girl, a perfectly bizarre web series from Broad City's Ilana Glazer. NSFW, as this episode starts out with Glazer naked (but with bars!), delivering a draft for your future daily affirmation: "Did you also know that 100 people within 10 square miles of where you are, right here, right now, would kill to fuck you? Yes, you, Chronic Gamer Girl viewer, you know it!" Hopefully we get more of these to tide us over until the return of Abbi and Ilana.
Q: Eighty years old. It seems a good time for looking forward.
A: [Laughs.] Somebody asked me the other day at a lecture—they said, "Your life has gone into these neat phases. What do you think the next phase is?"
What do you think the next phase is?
I said, "Well, I suspect it's death."
I still don't understand how Neneh Cherry, the Swedish singer-songwriter, can possibly be 50 years old, but those are the facts. This Robyn duet, off her fourth solo album (and first in 18 years), Blank Project, is your new anthem for walking briskly down a crowded street with your girl gang. Cherry talked to Pitchfork earlier this year about recording with Robyn ("When I look at her I recognize a lot of myself when I was that age") and about the current crop of female rappers (required viewing):
God, I have mixed feelings, but I've always had mixed feelings. I don’t know if [...]
Porpentine lives in Oakland and makes games about, among other things, “pop star Ke$ha against trans-dimensional haters.” You can try them out here, some in this very browser*. She also writes a weekly roundup of free games for Rock, Paper, Shotgun.
I decided to interview Porpentine over chat. (This meant it took about 57 hours, and she may never do an interview ever again: sorry, Porpentine and journalism.) We talked about bodies, women’s work, jet ski depiction, violent business sim memoir, and we insulted fruit. I’d call it a text adventure, except, that’s not right at all**, because Porpentine is the human, and I’m [...]
The girls are back June 6. What will be Natasha Lyonne's personal tagline after this season?
Red Sam came in and told his wife to quit lounging on the counter and hurry up with these people's order. His khaki trousers reached just to his hip bones and his stomach hung over them like a sack of meal swaying under his shirt. He came over and sat down at a table nearby and let out a combination sigh and yodel. "You can't win," he said. "You can't win," and he wiped his sweating red face off with a gray handkerchief. "These days you don't know who to trust," he said. "Ain't that the truth?"
"People are certainly not nice like they used to be," said the [...]
From yesterday, one way to quit your state-funded reporting gig, via former Russia Today newscaster Liz Wahl:
From the anchor chair, Liz Wahl closed a show talking about the "ethical and moral challenges" she faces working for Russia Today, also known as RT. She spoke of being from a family who fled to America to escape Soviet forces during the 1956 Hungarian revolution, being the daughter of a U.S. military veteran and being the partner of a physician who works at a U.S. military base.
"And that is why, personally, I cannot be part of a network funded by the Russian government that whitewashes the actions of [...]
All registered names are real and pulled from the International RollerGirl's Master Roster site.
Amber Waves of Pain
An Inconvenient Ruth
Bein’ A Dick Arnold
Bleed the Fifth
Bondage N. Clyde
Bruisin' B. Anthony
Carmen Miranda Rights
Cuban Menstrual Crisis
Dubya T. Eff
General Grant Slam
General Lee Sweaty
Today's best #humblebrag-as-news-story award goes to Tiffany Austin, who was kicked out of a Bay Area Planet Fitness for being too fit:
Austin said things started out well. She hopped on a treadmill, set the speed to slow, put her earbuds in and started walking. She started to notice others staring at her, and quickly grew self-conscious but she kept on walking. That is until a staff-member stopped her.
According to Austin that staff member said, "excuse me we've had some complaints you're intimidating people with your toned body. So can you put on a shirt?”
Austin was wearing a tank that showed her stomach and capri-pants and says she [...]
"Every Councilmember faces a choice of who they represent and which world they inhabit,” said Kshama Sawant, who took office earlier this month. “My place is with working people and their struggles. I want to give a voice to workers, trade union members, women, and immigrants. As a Councilmember, I re-commit to a fundamentally different political outlook. In line with the principles of the political party I represent, Socialist Alternative, I pledged to stay accountable to working people by taking only average workers' wage.”