Posts Tagged: sex
98

How I Found Out I Didn't Have the Herpes I'd Been Living With for Four Years

This story is an update to this story, published here in April 2012.

Six months ago, I sat waiting in my gynecologist’s exam room chair, fully clothed and wishing I were anywhere else. At that particular moment, I’d even have preferred being naked and spread-eagled on the paper-lined bed. It’s not true what they say about the stirrups being the worst part of the ladyparts exam room: it’s the chair. Once you’re clothed and in the chair, it means you’re there to talk.

You never forget your first time debriefing with your gynecologist. Mine was four years ago, at age 22, when I sat crumpled in a chair [...]

18

Film Programming for the Bedroom

Winter is coming, which means that streaming and/or snuggling season is upon us, which means that you too can use movie nights to get laid. Here, a short list of films to watch and cinematically-appropriate sex pairings, offered in reverse chronological order, so you can enjoy film sex like a fine wine that gets kinkier with age.

Holy Motors (2012): Gremlin noises, costume changes, lots of biting.

Shame (2011): Masturbation, desperation, fenestration sex.

Fish Tank (2009): It is not my fault that Netflix carries all of Michael Fassbender's guilt-sex oeuvre. The evening's accoutrements: Cockney accents, dancing in track suits, underage drunk sex you [...]

347

One Weird Trick to Control Your Boyfriend's Mind (the Trick Is Pouring Juice in His Dickhole)

Want to hear a secret? It’s a good one. Some might call it epic.

You know how, as women, we are constantly being reminded to enhance our appearance and increase our sex appeal so men will be attracted to us? How millions of straight women spend billions of dollars on clothes and beauty products to peacock around for some guy burping at the bar? How long has it been since you’ve really thought about how much time we spend waxing, manicuring, preening, primping, sometimes resorting to surgery, and wearing undergarments that treat our buttcheeks like teeth with corn stuck in them?

If you’re doing this to entrance the menfolk, will [...]

17

The Sexual History of Jared Sabbagh, Part 2

Jared is a 31-year-old man who lives in Chicago and has had more than 1,000 sexual partners. This is the second of three installments in his story, and it is pretty immediately (and intensely) graphic. Here's Part I and Part III. So, at this point in your story, you’re 15. You’ve had a hyper-sexual childhood, you’ve been having anonymous sexual encounters in public places, and you’ve just dropped out of high school in North Carolina for mental and physical safety/security reasons.

What happens next?

My mom found some gay youth group in Asheville, and I started hanging out at the independent [...]

71

I Am So Sorry You Probably Didn't Have An Orgasm That Time We Hooked Up

Oh no! I read this article on the New York Times about how you didn’t have an orgasm when we hooked up. That sucks! I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I know I shot out of your apartment like a superball out of a tailpipe. But I was pretty sure I had pleased the pants right off of you. I mean, your pants were still on. But still. This is worse than that time I crapped my pants at Lollapalooza. I am so embarrassed!

This is all according to the New York Times, of course, and who knows more about sex than them? According to the Times, women are [...]

17

A Found Poem from Nancy Jo Sales' Vanity Fair Piece About Teens

Gotta wheel the bitches in Gotta wheel the bitches in Nowadays you can do it so easy.

She hoped it would somehow be like the Lana Del Rey song. I will love you till the end of time. But there was something different about his face— it was squishier like— he was almost fat. But she didn't know quite how to get out of it They wound up going inside a Pottery Barn and making out on a couch.

My little cousin she's 13 and she posts such inappropriate pictures on Instagram and boys post sexual comments and she's like, "Thank you."

The cum shot in the [...]

55

The Sexual History of Jared Sabbagh, Part 3

Jared is a 31-year-old man who lives in Chicago. This is the last of three installments in his story. Here's part one and part two if you'd like to catch up. 

So you know the exact incident in which you contracted HIV.

Yeah. It was at this bathhouse in Portland.

Up till then you'd been getting checked regularly?

Totally. No more than six months between tests since I was 16.

So tell me about the encounter and how you figured it out.

It was August of 2005. I'm 23, and I'd had a few experiences of getting with HIV-positive dudes without a condom, [...]

15

Abstinent Nation

The number of single people has reached a record high. A survey in 2011 found that 61% of unmarried men and 49% of women aged 18-34 were not in any kind of romantic relationship, a rise of almost 10% from five years earlier. Another study found that a third of people under 30 had never dated at all. (There are no figures for same-sex relationships.) Although there has long been a pragmatic separation of love and sex in Japan – a country mostly free of religious morals – sex fares no better. A survey earlier this year by the Japan Family Planning Association (JFPA) found that 45% of women aged [...]

52

Sexing Up My Childhood Bedroom

My boyfriend is coming into town tonight so I read an article called “5 Ways to Sex Up Your Bedroom.” I wish it was called “5 Ways to Sex Up Your Childhood Bedroom in Your Parents House Because You Still Live at Home You Loser” but we can’t always get what we want. Here are the tips I have learned.

Sheets with an undulating wavy water pattern stimulate our watery, emotional nature.

First things first: Bed Bath & Beyond. “Excuse me, do you have any undulating wavy patterned sheets?” “Undulating?” the Bed Bath Man asked, “Undulating,” I said. He showed me some blue sheets, and [...]

152

More Men I Might Regret Sleeping With Were It Not For the Music They Introduced Me To

Part FOUR: The Notwist

(Read parts 1-3 here.)

hurt feelings : listening pleasure = 1 : 7

It was 2005 when I moved to a small, East Coast town for law school and began exploring the mate-finding potential of the Internet. My classmates made for an instant but insular peer group, and field trips to bars yielded nothing of promise. I ended more than a few evenings assessing the tiny pool of local eligible bachelors from the safety of my own bed, doing zip code and interest searches for men of a certain age on Friendster. Although I wasn’t sure what to [...]