Posts Tagged: sex
18

Film Programming for the Bedroom

Winter is coming, which means that streaming and/or snuggling season is upon us, which means that you too can use movie nights to get laid. Here, a short list of films to watch and cinematically-appropriate sex pairings, offered in reverse chronological order, so you can enjoy film sex like a fine wine that gets kinkier with age.

Holy Motors (2012): Gremlin noises, costume changes, lots of biting.

Shame (2011): Masturbation, desperation, fenestration sex.

Fish Tank (2009): It is not my fault that Netflix carries all of Michael Fassbender's guilt-sex oeuvre. The evening's accoutrements: Cockney accents, dancing in track suits, underage drunk sex you [...]

287

One Weird Trick to Control Your Boyfriend's Mind (the Trick Is Pouring Juice in His Dickhole)

Want to hear a secret? It’s a good one. Some might call it epic.

You know how, as women, we are constantly being reminded to enhance our appearance and increase our sex appeal so men will be attracted to us? How millions of straight women spend billions of dollars on clothes and beauty products to peacock around for some guy burping at the bar? How long has it been since you’ve really thought about how much time we spend waxing, manicuring, preening, primping, sometimes resorting to surgery, and wearing undergarments that treat our buttcheeks like teeth with corn stuck in them?

If you’re doing this to entrance the menfolk, will [...]

16

The Sexual History of Jared Sabbagh, Part 2

Jared is a 31-year-old man who lives in Chicago and has had more than 1,000 sexual partners. This is the second of three installments in his story, and it is pretty immediately (and intensely) graphic. Here's Part I and Part III. So, at this point in your story, you’re 15. You’ve had a hyper-sexual childhood, you’ve been having anonymous sexual encounters in public places, and you’ve just dropped out of high school in North Carolina for mental and physical safety/security reasons.

What happens next?

My mom found some gay youth group in Asheville, and I started hanging out at the independent [...]

10

A to Z: Discarded Cosmo Sex Tips

All Buttoned Up: It's sexy to have sex with your clothes still on, so the more clothes you have on, the sexier the sex. Both of you put on full-on snowsuits, and boy, will it be hot.

Bee Sweet: Tell him that if he covers himself in honey you'll lick it all off. (N.B.: honey is actually pretty hard to lick off of someone.) Once he's completely covered and stuck to the bed, excuse yourself to watch The Notebook.

Crisis Call: Fancy a hot mid-day shag? Call him a panic and tell him that you're being held hostage by a crazed gunman and he'll be home in no time. Hang [...]

16

A Found Poem from Nancy Jo Sales' Vanity Fair Piece About Teens

Gotta wheel the bitches in Gotta wheel the bitches in Nowadays you can do it so easy.

She hoped it would somehow be like the Lana Del Rey song. I will love you till the end of time. But there was something different about his face— it was squishier like— he was almost fat. But she didn't know quite how to get out of it They wound up going inside a Pottery Barn and making out on a couch.

My little cousin she's 13 and she posts such inappropriate pictures on Instagram and boys post sexual comments and she's like, "Thank you."

The cum shot in the [...]

54

The Sexual History of Jared Sabbagh, Part 3

Jared is a 31-year-old man who lives in Chicago. This is the last of three installments in his story. Here's part one and part two if you'd like to catch up. 

So you know the exact incident in which you contracted HIV.

Yeah. It was at this bathhouse in Portland.

Up till then you'd been getting checked regularly?

Totally. No more than six months between tests since I was 16.

So tell me about the encounter and how you figured it out.

It was August of 2005. I'm 23, and I'd had a few experiences of getting with HIV-positive dudes without a condom, [...]

68

Stream The 1975's Debut Album

The 1975, in all their teenage angst and glory, have been building serious momentum all year with singles like this, the propulsive and irresistible "Sex." Their other material is similarly unapologetic but also textured and surprising: they're in turns richly ambient, pop-punk bouncy, tart, delicate, and '80s-movie sincere. You can stream their self-titled debut at Fader now, good listening for the sunny long weekend ahead.

51

Sexing Up My Childhood Bedroom

My boyfriend is coming into town tonight so I read an article called “5 Ways to Sex Up Your Bedroom.” I wish it was called “5 Ways to Sex Up Your Childhood Bedroom in Your Parents House Because You Still Live at Home You Loser” but we can’t always get what we want. Here are the tips I have learned.

Sheets with an undulating wavy water pattern stimulate our watery, emotional nature.

First things first: Bed Bath & Beyond. “Excuse me, do you have any undulating wavy patterned sheets?” “Undulating?” the Bed Bath Man asked, “Undulating,” I said. He showed me some blue sheets, and [...]

156

More Men I Might Regret Sleeping With Were It Not For the Music They Introduced Me To

Part FOUR: The Notwist

(Read parts 1-3 here.)

hurt feelings : listening pleasure = 1 : 7

It was 2005 when I moved to a small, East Coast town for law school and began exploring the mate-finding potential of the Internet. My classmates made for an instant but insular peer group, and field trips to bars yielded nothing of promise. I ended more than a few evenings assessing the tiny pool of local eligible bachelors from the safety of my own bed, doing zip code and interest searches for men of a certain age on Friendster. Although I wasn’t sure what to [...]

30

The Sexual History of Jared Sabbagh, Part 1

Jared is a 31-year-old man who lives in Chicago. This is the first of three parts of his story. Here's Part II and Part III.

What’s the first sexual memory or thought you can remember?

I remember finding my father's porno cassette in 1987. I'm five years old, and this VHS is called The Satisfiers of Delta Blue—a fact I confirmed years later when I found it on a porn site and was like, “My god. This is it.”

The cassette was up in the very top shelf in his closet. I think knowing that this was such a secret thing, before [...]