Posts Tagged: sarah marshall

"Linda Lovelace As Herself"

It would be specious to claim that such a hastily and poorly produced film could anticipate and perhaps partially cause the events of the ensuing decade, except we know for a fact that it did. Deep Throat was perhaps the purest crystallization of the philosophy upon which the seventies were built. Afterward, when Linda attempted to unstick her symbolism from herself, she seemed to the public to be discrediting the cultural revolution she had inadvertently helped create—a revolution which, in a larger context, was soon associated not just with fellatio and miniskirts, but with Nixon’s resignation, the end of Vietnam, freedom of speech, and the monolith of women’s liberation. By disavowing her [...]


Name That Love Letter

A. Dearest Angel Girl: … I suppose most of us are lonely in this big world, but we must fall tremendously in love to find it out. The cure is the discovery of our need for company — I mean company in the very special sense we’ve come to understand since we happened to each other — you and I. The pleasures of human experience are emptied away without that companionship — now that I’ve known it; without it joy is just an unendurable as sorrow. You are my life — my very life. Never imagine your hope approximates what you are to me. Beautiful, precious little baby — [...]


What We Will Be Playing in the London Games

Now that we’ve looked at the sports we won’t be able to watch this summer (pigeon racing, you will be missed), let’s take a look at the sports we will get to see. I’ve attempted to find as many reasons as I can for why each one should be capable of capturing our hearts, and only one of them is penis-related.


Olympic archery forms the basis of what might be my favorite piece of celebrity trivia, namely that Geena Davis was a semifinalist for the women’s archery team at the 2000 Olympics. While one of the more obscure Olympics sports, archery nonetheless has a certain air of [...]


Your 2012 Baby Name Guide: Miss America Contestant Edition

1. China Helmandolllar

2. Dona Marie Pillow

3. Rosebud Blondell

4. Zasada Lord

5. Polly Below

6. Trelinda Kerr

7. Mignon Merchant

8. Joan Teets

9. Marquessa Glee Bullock

10. Sunni Cranfill


Beyond Clarice: Underrated Horror Heroines

I love October because, for thirty-one days, I am allowed to watch all the horror movies I want without anyone thinking I’m deranged. (I also like cider.) Granted, I pretty much watch all the horror movies I want during the rest of the calendar year, but it’s a little harder to start a conversation with a colleague by saying, “What did you do this weekend? I had a little Carpenter marathon and watched The Fog and The Thing. Yeah, alone, in my own room. You know the part in The Thing where the thing takes over the huskies, and that huge weird mouth thing bursts out of one of them? [...]


Name That Bride, Part Two

A. “A strapless Vera Wang gown and flip-flops.”

B. “A nipped-at-the-waist dress created by Mainbocher in what was termed [the bride’s] signature color of … blue reportedly to match her eyes. Her coordinating straw hat, by Caroline Reboux, had a halo effect with pale blue tulle and her matching gloves were created from the same blue silk crepe as her dress. [Thirteen years after the wedding, the bride] presented the dress to the Metropolitan Museum.”

C. “A dark blue outfit, which for years after was a serviceable lab garment.”

D. “Given the hour, the justice [of the peace] was wearing pajamas and a bathrobe. [The bride], dressed for a [...]


What We Won't Be Playing in the London Games

Some sports are all but synonymous with the Olympics. Gymnastics, which is nearly impossible to find on TV in the periods between Games, is suddenly everywhere during them — the same goes for figure skating during the Winter Games, as Norm Macdonald so memorably opined in the aftermath of the Kerrigan attack. (“I think it’s time that we come together as a society, and make it clear that we’re not gonna tolerate thugs solving their problems with violence, and we’re not gonna tolerate TV executives making us watch hours and hours of figure skating, when there are good hockey games not even being televised.") Gymnastics may be so popular [...]


Your 2012 Baby Name Guide: Baseball Edition

1. Chub Sullivan

2. Lip Pike

3. Buttercup Dickerson

4. Oyster Burns

5. Abner Dalrymple

6. Boileryard Clarke

7. Buttons Briggs

8. Bones Ely

9. Duke Esper

10. Dummy Hoy 


Centers of Gravity: In Conversation With an Ex-Gymnast

Chelsea Bieker will not be going to London this year. A forme competitive gymnast and current coach, she’ll be spending the summer teaching freshman composition classes at Portland State University, where she finished her MFA in fiction earlier this year. Though Chelsea currently spends most of her time grading papers and writing short fiction about murderers, barflies, teenage prostitutes, and the good people of Fresno, California (her hometown), gymnastics still has a place in her heart, and she was kind enough to share her thoughts and memories with me over a few YouTube videos.

Sarah Marshall: What’s the first gymnastics video you think of when you remember Olympics of the [...]


Unusual Miss America Talents

1949: Water ballet (Patricia Cunningham, IN).

1955: Comic monologue of a novice golfer titled “What Do I Do Now, Mr. McLeod?” (Beth Andre, AZ); speech on how to pack a suitcase (Carol Jennette, MD).

1956: Dramatic sketch titled “A Dream: Faith Over Atheistic Sciences” (Joan Beckett, CA).

1957: Organ medley including “Tea for Two” (Marilyn Van Derbur, CO); rodeo exhibition (June Prichard, TX); trampoline and tumbling to the theme from The Third Man (Amanda Whitman, TN).

1959: Original dramatic interpretation of a beatnik (Beverly Ann Domareki, NJ); vocal impersonation of Maurice Chevalier (Elizabeth Holmes, NY); speech on fashion designing and tractor driving (Diana Klug, CT); character dance to “Tequila” (Jacqueline [...]