Posts Tagged: santa

He Doesn't Know If You've Been Bad or Good

Santa is at the mall. He poses with children. I have a child. She looks cute in red sweaters. Her parents are ambivalent about Santa. This is kind of where we are, right now?

1. Santa was a lot of fun, and it did not actually bum me out a lot when I found out, and I was damn near twenty.

2. Some kids do not get Christmas presents from Santa because their parents do not have any money, and then they go to school and other kids have presents from Santa.

3. A bunch of kids are Jewish. A bunch of kids are Muslim. Those kids generally still [...]



Until I was about 14 years old, I thought one of my mom’s family’s traditions — the weirdest one — was one that everyone else celebrated, too. I was walking down the hall of my middle school with my friend Jenna the day before Thanksgiving break. “So, ya ready for Pinochle to visit?” I asked.

“Who?” she said, stopping to look at me.

“Pinochle,” I said, rolling my eyes. She stared blankly. “You know, the elf that shows up on Thanksgiving after you eat, and he flies around the windows…?"

“What are you talking about?” she asked with a look that told me everything I needed to know.

[In [...]


Ask Santa

Claus, who are you to judge who's naughty or nice? Sabrina Q., San Diego, CA

I don't enjoy judging any child. We agonize over the lists. So much time and argument goes into their creation. We definitely give kids the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes I wish we'd do away with them entirely and focus on other issues. But it is a tradition, and we've gotten more just over the years identifying True Niceness as opposed to Disguised Naughtiness. Most of our List work is statistical, creating ranges. Identifying behavioral trends. We can keep track of all acts of naughtiness and niceness. In the cases of tiebreakers, we send [...]


What's That, Papa?

"Jane- Great new Christmas movie. Rare Exports is the title.  Love, Pa"


Santa, You Dropped Something

A 100 year old letter to Santa which proves his existence (more on that in a moment) looks extra-vintage because it was found in a chimney in Dublin. Aside from a few drawings and a large "GOOD LUCK" at the top — which is like what? You do know who this guy is, right? — the letter contains this wish list: "I want a baby doll and a waterproof with a hood and a pair of gloves and a toffee apple and a gold penny and a silver sixpence and a long toffee.” Sounds delicious, all that toffee. Santa must've dropped it on his way in or out because who [...]