Easing in, fending off blues, we got this.
Here's a visual representation of all the places birds have died en masse in the past couple days. We're basically living the opening montage of a movie about the apocalypse at this point. But what does it all mean? Well, if you zoom in and draw lines from each of the little e-pegs, you can see the birds are trying to tell us something.
CURLING (Into A Ball)
Ten points if you do it for an hour.
A thousand points if you don't leave bed all weekend.
Gold medal for you if you quit your job, sell that gold medal, invest in the bond market, gain wealth, thereby proliferating more gold. This will translate to happiness. Mail your teenage nephew red Beats by Dre headphones for his "domepiece." This is a successful game of curling (into a ball).
A brash alarm begins its unforgiving beep. It's the morning; dawn peeks through your window.
"It's all downhill from here," you say.
Punch someone! Reflect on how weak you are! [...]