Posts Tagged: rankings
10

An Unofficial Ranking of Some of the Boyz II Men Mid-Song Monologues

Boyz II Men. What can I say? For me, it started in the nineties, when Stephanie Tanner chose to fuck up her “street jazz” routine to “Motown Philly” because she didn’t want to be a professional dancer. The song and choreography had me (and most sixth grade girls I knew) hooked. Stephanie had only decided 15 minutes prior that she wanted to go pro, so it was especially crazy that 22 minutes into the episode, she had changed her mind and sabotaged her recital! FYI, this is rude, and the episode should have actually focused more on: realistic dreams and the time it takes to achieve them, and [...]

16

Rigs to Drive to High School From 1996-2000, Ranked

13.) THE FORD RANCHERO YOUR DAD BOUGHT FROM AN AD IN THE MONEYSAVER, BLUE

12.) YOUR GRANDPARENT’S OLDSMOBILE, MAROON

11.) YOUR MOM’S ASTRO VAN, GREY

39

Imagining Grown-Ass Eloise

"I’m going to go all out and call Eloise a classist creation, a girl who fetishizes commodities like expensive hotels and room service. A girl, in short, who believes she deserves to be served, rather than to serve others. The Paris Hilton of the girls’ book heroine set, destined for future floozy-hood. Per Anna Quindlen, 'When I think of Eloise grown up, I think of her with a drinking problem, knocking about from avocation to avocation, unhappily married or unhappily divorced, childless.'"

-At Flavorwire, Michelle Dean ranks 20 "classic girl heroines of literature" and has some WORDS for the girl on the tippy-top floor. We can't pin this [...]

11

Insufferable Parenthetical Asides, Ranked

52. (the saying goes)

51. (well, not strictly)

50. (incidentally)

49. (it’s in the Pacific, somewhere)

48. (which I don’t normally do)

47. (which I’ve finally perfected)

46. (humility is underrated)

45. (consequently)

44. (practically speaking)

43. (if he’d remembered)

42. (as a matter of fact)

41. (which is no excuse)

40. (when they were still of quality)

39. (or was it ramps?)

38. (or so he claims)

37. (just like 1804)

36. (though no one seems to hear me)

35. (whoever still does that)

34. (which I’ve never heard of)

33. (or so it seems)

32. (she meant well)

31. (it’s a kind of nut)

30. (it’s not her [...]

12

NFL Mascots, Ranked

28. Indianapolis Colts – Blue, a colt

27. Cleveland Browns – Chomps, a dog

26. St. Louis Rams – Rampage, a ram

25. Cincinnati Bengals – Who Dey, a bengal tiger

24. Houston Texans – Toro, a bull

23. San Diego Chargers – Boltman

22. Oakland Raiders – Raider Rusher, a humanoid

21. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Captain Fear, a pirate

20. Miami Dolphins – T.D , a dolphin

19. Kansas City Chiefs – K.C. Wolf, a wolf

18. Jacksonville Jaguars – Jaxson de Ville, a jaguar

17. [...]