Posts Tagged: pumpkins

Bow Down, Witches: The Beyoncé Jack-o-Lantern of Your Dreams

All of us need to check in with ourselves about our Yonce-worship practices occasionally. Have you sung Bey’s praises lately? Have you updated your personal altar with a fresh candle or worked on your Everything Beyonce Pinterest page? Have you seen this brilliant gourd-based tribute to Her Greatness and thought, “If only I had an MFA and an extra set of thumbs?”

We’re here to help. As great minds in Williamsburg put their skills to work, we in Chicago have been busy brewing up the perfect how-to.


Jim Behrle Wants to Know

1. I got a new pair of glasses the other day. And people really seem to like these glasses. These glasses are perhaps magic handsome-making glasses. At what point in the complimenting me on my glasses are people flirting with me, if at all? Like after a minute or two? At what point does complimenting become flirting? Like "keep those glasses on and I will love you forever?" Some people maybe just really like glasses. And these glasses perhaps just cover up my other glaring anomalies.

Lol, foureyes. No, but I was thinking about this recently. And you know, honestly, Jim, you do look great in your new glasses, but [...]


Carving a Jack O'Lantern Without Making Any Mess at All

1. Live alone.

2. Buy a pumpkin, draw a face on it.

3. Set it by the sink, get out a bowl. 


Garnish With Seeds

Pumpkin vodka: not that you would, but you could.


Where Is Your #GlitPump? It's Time to Make a #GlitPump.

Best pals/Hairpin pals Katy and Katie made glitter pumpkins (#glitpumps), because the internet told them to. A glitter pumpkin, it turns out, is when you coat a pumpkin in glue and then cover it in glitter. [YouTube]


Last Call for Jack O' Lanterns

Quick: there's still one day left to make scantily clad pumpkins for all your neighborchildren to "enjoy." You could probably skip the top coat of Mod Podge since it really only needs to last for one day at this point. Or you could look up pretty much any stencil and cut out the black parts. This Morrissey one worked pretty well, but that's only because we hadn't thought of making a Meatwad. 


Pumpkin Carving for the 21+ Set

Are you into carving pumpkins, hosting parties, and very, very cold beverages? Yes? Yes! Please to step this way!

Pumpkin Party Cooler | Martha Stewart We'll presume that those soft drinks are meant to be used as mixers. Martha.


Golden Mean Pumpkin Muffins

Lately almost all the muffins I make begin with this recipe, which may well be the golden mean of muffin recipes. They just taste right, with the perfect balance of sweetness and oil, grain-y-ness and lightness. Total muffin harmony. (For the longest time I cooked steel-cut oats only because I needed “leftovers" to bake more and more of these muffins.) These days, I look at this treasured recipe, then add a little of this, a little of that, less of that, more of this, throw it in the oven, and really, WHO KNOWS what will happen? The truth is, secretly I always expect magic. But, to be honest — I [...]


Can We Still Be Friends?

So maybe you’ve read the Scientific American article that came out yesterday that basically told you that although you think we’re just platonic friends I secretly entertain the possibility that someday we’ll be more than that. Yeah, sorry about that. What can I tell you? I think you’re amazing and I like you a lot.

And I hope we can still be friends. Even if Science says we can’t be. When has Science ever been wrong? The Atkins Diet, for one. This is just one study. They can get one study to tell you that you should eat bacon in the shower every day and live until you’re 150. [...]


"The result has a cinnamon gruel vibe"

One man attempts to eat all the pumpkin-flavored items available at Trader Joe's, in one day. (Earlier: determining the pumpkin-ness of the current Trader Joe's flyer [28%].)