What kind of reading would you like? For past and present, we have half-palm readings, five dollars. For past, present, and a little bit of future, we have whole palm readings, 10 dollars. Comes with free incense stick. We have a quarter-palm reading for three dollars; explains the celestial implications of what you ate for dinner last night. Then there is double-palm reading: 20 dollars and covers career, relationships, power haircuts, travel, infertility, your emotional reaction to season two of The Tudors, ponies, that stupid recurring cake dream you have that no one wants to hear about, money, and why your mother has never supported you the way a mother [...]
A friend had gifted me a reading (or séance? or session?) with her psychic/life coach. It wasn’t my birthday. It wasn’t Christmas, or Hannukah, or any holiday that I knew of. The only thing that had happened recently was that my friend’s book had been launched. So maybe she was celebrating her book launch by giving me this present. But you know what? I didn’t even think about it much after asking her if she was sure she wanted to spend that kind of dough on me (“Go,” she’d urged, “Dr. Stayci gives good advice”). What’s so strange about a friend giving you a present, right? And, assuming [...]
When I was three, my mom went to visit a psychic and brought me along. After he was done reading her, he read me too. One of his predictions was that I’d be married “late in life.”
A few years later, when I was around eight, my mom told me this story. Looking back, I wondered why my mom would have told me this information, as it seems a little mature for an eight-year-old. Except she likes to recall a story around the same time, in which I came out of my bedroom clutching a Reader’s Digest to my chest and announcing I was pro-choice. To this day, she believes [...]
“I sense that someone is interfering with your aura, preventing it from shining as blindingly as it might. On the surface, all seems in order, but don’t be fooled. Look inside and the source of this karmic disruption will reveal itself. Could it be that it’s someone you’ve been involved with romantically? No matter how well-adjusted a person seems, or how much inner growth he’s achieved recently, the man in your life could be a viper in the bush, laying in wait — if you’re caught unawares, the attack can be deadly.”
“For how long have you kept your spirit confined when it’s starved for adventure and your heart [...]
YEARS ago — panicked, on the cusp of 30, between jobs and wondering where life would take me — I consulted a psychic. I remember staring at the sea of green carpet in her home as she addressed the usual concerns.
She told me to marry Mark, the man I was living with, that I would have a son and a daughter, and that my future with them would not be in New York City, contrary to what I had long assumed.
Finally, I asked the question I really wanted answered: “When will I die?”