Posts Tagged: phones
20

On the "Facebook Phone"

You need to text your friend that you will be late to dinner. You pull your Android device from your pocket. You place your thumb on your face and unlock the phone. You see that your friend Elaine just had a babymoon. You wonder what a "babymoon" is. You scroll through the photos and realize that a "babymoon" is a very easy concept to figure out. You decide that you don't care about Elaine's new baby. You think about how much you hate the name Elaine chose for her new baby. You wonder how much they spent on their "babymoon" and think about how much your health insurance would be [...]

78

Reading Between the Texts: The Best/Worst Texts We Got This Year

The Texts

2:30 a.m. Him: I find myself still attracted to you but I’m glad I was able to come talk to you tonight. R: Well I’ll always have a little crush on you too, but I’m glad we could talk and that you’re happy. Him: If I’m honest I don’t know if I would have had the resolve to say no if the attempt had been made to take things further.

9:20 a.m. Him: But you can do way better.

The Analysis

K: Hahahahaha wow I am going to slay the whole solar system. R: We seriously never have a punching bag around here, anywhere. K: I can’t [...]

179

Text Messages From a Ghost

October 14th hey im gaunting you ok Do you mean haunting yeah sorry i don’t have any fingers so im poltergeisting a stick to help me text this Who is this? oh sorry im a ghost So do you live inside this phone yeah kind of

October 21st sorry if last night was pretty loud Sorry? some other ghosts came over last night and we fought we used to be roommates Oh. they weren’t good roommates I’m sorry no no it’s okay I mean its really nice of you to care I really like haunting you a lot Don’t you mean “gaunting” hahaha you remembered

267

How to Get a Man's Telephone Number

About five years ago, I was in a dry spell. And by "dry spell," I mean I hadn't gotten any in the better part of a year. My thoughts turned to the nearest pizza delivery man.

His name was Kent. He was well over 6'. He had tattoos on his arms and a ring in his lip. And I stand by the fact that his face was conventionally very attractive. He used to deliver pizzas to my office on a semi-weekly basis, and over the course of a few weeks, he and I got on a first name basis. It was a "Hi, Kent. Hi, Taylor. That will be [...]

86

Takeoff omg

If you've ever wondered why airports make you go through x-rays to prove you're not concealing weapons but then only request you to turn off your mobile device (the implication being that turned-on phones can interfere with or otherwise crash the plane/it's all your fault) — and if you've ever been frustrated by how this in turn essentially implies that some group of air travel elders thinks we're too stupid to notice or mind that some theoretically crucial safety rules are mandatory while others are voluntary ("all day, every day") — here's a video that won't really fix anything but might give you something interesting (?) to talk about the next [...]

143

First Phone Photos: A Time Capsule, Part Two

Samsung and the Hairpin recently asked readers for the first photographs in their camera phones. Here are more pictures for the time capsule, still (mostly) at random, and still with a lot of cute animals.

45

"Have you guys heard from Stephen lately?"

Like many people, Petrick had come to rely on his cellphone. He wasn't as good as he used to be about memorizing phone numbers. Excitedly, he recalled one person's cell number and dialed it.

His elation, however, quickly turned to anxious frustration as the automated voice told Petrick that he could not place a collect call to a cellular phone. He could only call out to a land line. Trouble was, he hadn't memorized any land-line numbers.

Hell, he hardly even knew anyone with a land line anymore.

Moral of this story: don't get arrested. No, wait. First, don't "help a pregnant woman kick a nasty heroin habit by [...]

77

Texticles

I got a new phone after losing mine on New Year's last year, and these are the last lines of every conversation I have saved in it.

1/12

Got my phonenumbeeeeer back!

What time you leaving? Quick drink before?

Great, thanks, it may be easier to just order some new pants though.

2/12

Totally

3/12

Sounds Great

Up to anything?

Awwwww. Leaving in 5

4/12

Ok. See you soon.

400 dollars

5/12

ok we're home!

6/12

sounds good xoxox!

7/12

Xooooooo

Got it

Aw ok

8/12

It was nice to meet you, thanks.

I was at that last week hope work schedule lets me go again

Great

Def, have a [...]

114

Please Send Us Your Photos!

What's the first picture in your phone? We're working on a piece — sponsored by Samsung — for which we're collecting the first photographs in anyone/everyone's current mobile phone, and which will hopefully serve as a little time capsule-type thing. That's it. Might be weird! We'll see. So, if you want to participate (please do!), send the first photograph in your mobile phone's gallery to firstphoto@thehairpin.com. We'll rely on the honor system that it's actually your first photo. Boring is fine! Boring is great. It'll all be anonymous. We can't run anything inappropriate, and if there are people in it who aren't you, it'd probably be a good [...]

24

Introducing the New and Improved Juicebox

The Juicebox is a simple, elegant mobile phone charging station that lets users juice up their iPhones, Androids, or BlackBerries in public venues… For a flat fee, typically of $1 or $2 depending on the venue, users gain access to one of seven color-coded lockers that glow pink when charging and green when charged.

Possible slogans:

Don't be a Juicebox, Use Juicebox

This Ain't Your Juicebox's Juicebox

The Only Juicebox You'll Ever Need