People like us don’t exist. Haven’t you heard? Bisexual women are a myth, at best, or at worst a pernicious social disease engineered to wreak havoc upon the queer community. We’re sluts, incapable of moderating our desire to a single gender, or we’re merely appropriating gayness until we decide we’ve had our fill and are ready to find husbands. It’s a word for straight women who use lesbians as props and for lesbians who are scared to commit to their identity. Arriving at bisexuality by way of gayness, on the other hand, is a logistical impossibility. Our culture has not accounted for that path of self-discovery, and thus: I [...]
Not too long ago, I created this OkCupid profile for a nude self portrait-themed art exhibition in New York City. The idea was to combine the negativity and honesty that's generally reserved for anonymous forums and offline conversations with the transparent accountability of a personal profile. I wanted to see how men would respond to this absurd level of intimacy and openness straightaway, and see if my answers would attract any like-minded people.
I'm interested in the online personas we create, and how, for the most part, they only focus on our "best" selves, instead of our actual selves. On online dating sites, I found most profiles for straight men [...]
1. Is there a loving, appropriate way to handle a friend who you feel moves too fast in relationships? Like maybe a friend who moved across the country to continue a relationship that you suspected should have ended a year before it did, who then finally gave up trying to win that person back and moved back home six months after the relationship ended, but who is now asking you to analyze conversations they are having on OkCupid? And also every time you GChat, this friend tells you when the person they are talking to last logged in to OkCupid? Or is that normal now? I am a married [...]
"Internet dating alerted me to the fact that our notions of human behaviour and achievement, expressed in the agglomerative text of hundreds of internet dating profiles, are all much the same and therefore boring and not a good way to attract other people. The body, I also learned, is not a secondary entity. The mind contains very few truths that the body withholds. There is little of import in an encounter between two bodies that would fail to be revealed rather quickly. Until the bodies are introduced, seduction is only provisional."
—We're kind of having a moment with Emily Witt's London Review of Books diary right now.
In Ovid’s Metamorphosis, Cupid is notorious not for his successful matches but for his catastrophic ones. Pluto and Proserpina, Apollo and Daphne, Paris and Helen: none of these unions ended well. Instead of churning out soft children and sunshine, these matches produced winter, the bay leaf, and the Trojan War.
I’ve been in a long relationship, so long in fact we’ve forgotten about marriage all together and we simply say we’re married. I’ve vicariously been living this millennia and its social media outlets through friends—many of whom have found love, pleasurable sex, free quality meals, and sometimes even friends through OKCupid. I decided to sign up and build a profile [...]
Today in news clippings that will confuse your grandma:
More than a third of recent marriages in the USA started online, according to a study out Monday that presents more evidence of just how much technology has taken hold of our lives.
The research, based on a survey of more than 19,000 individuals who married between 2005 and 2012, also found relationships that began online are slightly happier and less likely to split than those that started offline.
*Makes online dating profile.* *Immediately deletes it.* *Makes online dating profile.* *Immediately deletes it.* Lather, rinse, repeat.
Age: 42 Interests: Literature, Lesbians, Hand-fasting Marital Status: Divorced About Me: My ex-wife is a lesbian and I am writing a novel in which many lesbians fall in love with the same man. One of the main characters, also a lesbian, becomes so jealous that she consults a bruja and puts a curse on every woman who’s ever slept with the narrator, dooming them to meet elaborate Final Destination-style ends. He follows the chain of death, trying vainly to save his former lovers, until finally he reaches the older woman who took his virginity in his teens. Ecstatic, he asks why the curse doesn’t affect her, to which she replies: [...]
Anyone who's alone at a bar fidgeting, smiling then not smiling, glancing at a phone screen, over and over — and over — is often on the verge of meeting a wonderful stranger. A wonderful stranger who fits some essential criteria on a website. One of the few and true delights I’ve found as a bartender is watching the online date unfold. It’s like watching a rom-com except you actually never know how it’s going to end.
I love it when I hear things like:
“Just so you know, I have a terrible headache. I can totally sit here with you, but my focus might be off. It’s NOT that I’m [...]
MESSAGE "you look like russell brand hahaha"
REVISION The first thing people usually notice about me: It’s a three-way tie between my voluminous hair, my megawatt smile, and the fact that when people look into my eyes they think, “She has a knife in her sock.”
MESSAGE "hey wuss up gorgeous jus to let u know im the best lookin guy in the world"
REVISION I spend a lot of time thinking about: Whether I can find the world’s best looking guy not by looking at thousands of guys, but instead by waiting to encounter a handsome, male man expert online.
MESSAGE "The weather today is nearly ideal, in [...]