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Bringing your lunch to work sounds so simple, but it's actually almost impossible. Or, it was, until I cracked it.

Step 1: This is the easy part. Pick something simple that you'll eat for lunch every single day, and buy supplies to make that thing. Yes, marinated vegetables and goat cheese on gently toasted focaccia with a side of quinoa salad does sound delightful, but that's not what you will be eating. Instead, try this: Peanut butter. Loaf of bread. Apples.

Step 2: When home, unload apples, bread, and peanut butter and leave in conspicuous area, [...]

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November 9th, Gchat

Me: So I just met with BOSS and he's giving me a lot more things to do because DUDE left. I'm doing three people's jobs now. I should negotiate a raise, right?

PROJECT MANAGER: yes, I think you should try. tell him that the situation was different when you accepted your position and at this point you're absorbing two jobs. you def have to make your case….tell him you've made plenty of sacrifices (shortening your vacation after DUDE left) and that you're ready to step up but that you have to be compensated.

The Archipod is a shingled ball and home office designed to stand alone in your garden. Smaller models — 9'6" wide, 8'3" high — start at about $34,000 (plus delivery) and come with customizable floors, porthole windows, desks, and lighting. Here's a blueprint (circles within circles, basically), and here are more photos. The only things the Archipod needs to survive are "an electricity supply and a telephone connection from the house." Nowhere in the FAQ section does it address "What will happen if the door swings shut while I am inside the Archipod and it turns out the building is to aliens what bug [...]

Aren't there a few things on your desk that feel like they should have been replaced with binary code by now? Paper clips. White Out. (Who still uses White Out and what for? No, tell us!) Three-hole punch. Stapler. It seems old fashioned that there are staplers, but if you have to have one, this one is the best. Seriously, it is like a magic stapler. Anyway, in other stapler news, that sexy wall mural over on the left there is made of nearly half a million staples. Get to work, everyone.

“This half-and-half is for everyone. Take as much as you need, I can always buy more.”

“To the person who has been using the microwave to reheat really spicy food — God, it smells amazing. What is that, saag paneer?”

“Every Friday all open food containers that have not been removed from the kitchen will be covered in velour and filled to the brim with shiny silver dollars, because I love you guys.”

“The microwave has been filled with pudding for a very good reason; please do not clean it.”

“Who keeps emptying the trash can every Thursday afternoon? Slow down there, Stick Stickley! You’re on island time now.”

“Could [...]

It’s been rumored that 2011 is the year of feelings. I personally think I have too many feelings and have spent pretty much every day of every year leading up to this one being upset about something, but whatever. The power of suggestion has instilled in me the desire to make this year something different. My friends and family suggested therapy, but instead I went to Target and bought a big bouncy ball to sit on at work. I figured taking myself off the proverbial throne of my fancy lady office chair would knock me down a few notches and help me to realize that we’re all in this [...]

This series is brought to you by TurboTax Federal Free Edition. On my eighth day of work, the cupcakes showed up.

I had just started a job as an editor at a startup run by a bunch of 20-year-olds. At the time, our CEO was 25, the startup didn't have a name yet, and we were all working out of a makeshift office near Times Square at a computer learning center called New Horizons. We were barely paid, but the recession had just hit, and we were all just glad to have health insurance and a place to go to every morning. There were also free cookies, [...]

Has a man recently told you, "You look tired" at work? That's a big deal. You're probably putting out distress signals that say "I'm not prepared to have it all!" Here's a mini-guide to help get your face looking bright and perfect so you'll never mess up anything ever again.

1. Apologize — Apologize for everything, especially your face. Now go home and fix your face, and apologize to everyone you make eye contact with on the way home. Apologize when you return. Apologizing means it's your fault, and that's how you remain in control. Stay in control!

Research shows that the average work space for a white-collar worker in this country has plummeted from 500 to 700 square feet in the 1970s (a different time, a different time) to something that is fast approaching 50 square feet.